Reese Rants & Raves

Whale Watching 1.14.12

2012-01-15T08:47:00.000-08:00

Spent Saturday morning whale watching off the coast of Ventura (north of Los Angeles). We were chasing 3 grey whales (likely 2 males and 1 female) while a huge pod of dolphins (well over 100!) chased us. It was a fantastic day.

2012-01-13T06:40:00.000-08:00

Being a hoarder sucks.

I came home to a 'surprise apartment inspection' notice. Awesome. My insides liquified, my heart raced then dropped to my stomach, and I panicked.

I should be okay. If not, well...I should be okay.

But, seriously - being a hoarder fucking sucks.

Leap Blog Day!

2012-01-03T05:30:00.000-08:00

Check it ~ Leap Blog Day!

Short version: visit site, sign up, select a guest blogger from the list, wait for someone to select you, write, yay!

Get and give some blog traffic.

Get and give some blog love.

Girl of 100 Lists - 2012...

2012-01-01T10:31:00.000-08:00

"Be open to a change in direction. Know that the path I walk today will never lead to the same tree tomorrow." (thank you, Kurt Sutter)

more experiences

less things (however, if the 'experience' is to purchase a new 'thing' - a handbag, a pair of shoes, a dress - this goal may be broken, on occasion)

stuff out

furniture in

friends in!

London

soda out (my sincerest apologies, Dr. Pepper. We were so good together.)

read good things

write good things

do good things

love

Love

LOVE!

Girl of 100 Lists - 2011.

2011-12-31T12:49:00.000-08:00

family

two weeks in Hawaii

shark dive

third row for Duran Duran

a weekend of the Fixx

an 80s weekend with my favorite 80s bands

Christmas Songs

2011-12-23T07:26:00.000-08:00

Christmas music has been playing since October and I am sick of it.

However, there are 2 Christmas songs I can tolerate:

Bah humbug!

2011-12-22T05:48:00.000-08:00

Christmas no longer brings me joy.

There, I said it.

The sad, but true, realization hit me when I heard the first holiday song and saw the first Christmas display in October. Too soon!

By the time Thanksgiving rolled around, I was done. My family talked of trees and lights and ornaments and gifts and I sat with my arms crossed, cringing.

I feel your pain, Suri Cruise.

The 'maul', the traffic, the crowds, mean & pushy people, kids that run amok, the parents who let their kids run amok, the lines that trail down an aisle to the back of the store, the music - good grief, the music. Ugh. I can't take another Christmas song. I. Just. Can't.

The Christmas season does have a few redeeming qualities: Elf, Christmas lights display at Candy Cane Lane in Woodland Hills CA, my mom's once-a-year Dunking Platters cookies, and Peppermint Bark.

Despite my rant, I sincerely wish you a wonderful holiday season. May your days be merry and bright!

The You're Awesome Holiday Letter - by Slackmistress

2011-12-20T16:38:00.001-08:00

One of my most favoritist people on the planet is the Slackmistress. She is uber cool and lovely and nice and funny and a fantastic writer. Below is her post from yesterday ~ the "You're Awesome" Holiday Letter! What a great idea, huh? Yeah, that's why I'm sharing it with y'all :)

The You're Awesome Holiday Letter

Every year instead of getting gifts that are probably awesome but just add to our "stuff" I send out a "you're awesome" letter. To friends, family, or random people on the Internet. Sure, it's not commercialized and it doesn't kill the environment and you can't unwrap it and force a fake smile ("IT'S EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED!") and it's not a Lexus with a shiny bow.

But it's free, it's easy, and it just takes a little bit of time to make someone's day.

So pretty much not what the holidays are about. But I encourage you to do it anyway.

Love Seat

2011-12-08T04:46:00.000-08:00

do you want my love seat?

That was last Sunday's text from my friend, Bee. She just moved to Santa Monica. Turns out, her love seat didn't fit through the guest bedroom door frame.

oooooh. i have no way to get it and no place to put it yet. thanks for the offer though.

I know, I know. But, really, it's one excuse and one very valid reason.

Two days later - you sure you don't want the loveseat?

Two days after that - okay, i'll take it

My apartment only has two places to fit a love seat - the short interior wall/corner nook where my computer desk is or the longer exterior wall where my bookcase, chest of drawers and rolling clothes rack reside. I had to decide which was the path of least clutter.

For thirteen years, I imagined that interior wall space would someday be a cozy nook with a sectional or sofa and chair or even my dad's rocking chair. Instead, I filled it with boxes and bins, carts of cassettes and computer-related stuff. Out of sight, out of mind - put a computer desk over it! It was so easy to stack stuff under the desk - unwanted items, "I'll take care of that later" items, "What the hell do I do with this" items.

On Saturday morning, I took apart my computer desk. Wow! WTF?! I started to panic, feel overwhelmed and immediately thought to call Bee and decline the love seat. It was too much - too much stuff, too much for me to handle, too much. I stopped for a minute, sat down and looked around. What can reasonably be done here? What do I have and where can it go? I stared at the wall for a long time. The rolling clothes rack had to go. That was it. For the time being, I needed enough room to get the love seat into my apartment; its permanent place would be decided later.

Once the love seat was in, I got to work - moved the clothes from the rolling rack to the closet or into drawers, bagged up more clothes to donate, tossed out a few pairs of shoes and extra clothes hangers. I took the rolling rack apart, immediately taking those pieces down to the dumpster. There will be no clothing rack in my living room! I righted the love seat, pushed it against the wall and smiled.

This love seat is the first piece of furniture I've had in this apartment. I've always had clutter. It's not the cozy nook I imagined. But, it's a start.

this here blog

2011-12-01T07:11:00.000-08:00

At the beginning of November, I was over my blog design. That orange swirly thing, while pretty and quite appealing at the time, was now annoying. I left it alone since the focus of the month was to be on content.

This morning, with the Santa Ana winds howling, I embarked on a new blog design adventure. Good grief! SO MANY blogger designs. SO MANY blogger color options. SO MANY choices! I just want simple, appealing, easy-to-look-at. Pfft.

I tweaked several different templates, but the 'live' look was icky. So, I ended up with this. It's not exactly what I want. It'll just have to do for the time being.

If you know anyone who does blog design or a site with blogger templates or have any suggestions for blogger design help, lemme know, willya?

Happy December :)

NaBloPoMo 11.30 - The End

2011-11-30T04:56:00.000-08:00

I made it! Woo hoooo!

I made it through National Blog Posting Month - and I posted every day! Yay me.

What have I learned?

there are some awesome bloggers out there
there are some awesome blogs to be read out there
there are a lot of 'mommy bloggers'
there are really truly good people in this world - and I know some of 'em
I need to get into a writing groove, a regular routine of 15-20 min a day of free writing
my blog is so random!

Well, that was fun :) Thanks BlogHer and NaBloPoMo!

NaBloPoMo 11.29 - Is Your Toilet Running?

2011-11-29T04:42:00.000-08:00

It was a lovely Sunday afternoon. The windows were open, the music was loud and I sat at my desk, happily typing away.

tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap...tap tap tap tap snap thud flush whoosh

Can't be me - I'm sitting here.

No one else came in...geez! Did Jerry upstairs fall asleep in the bathtub again and crash through the bathroom ceiling?

Nope. It's just the toilet, running. Finally! I can put my plumbing skills to work. Oh, wait.

I remove the lid and stare inside the tank for an indeterminate amount of time. How does this thing even work? And, why is it not working now? Turns out, the right side of the tank thingy inside the big tank broke. No water was rushing out or gushing up, so that was a good sign. I couldn't turn the water off from below, slippery hands and all. I lifted up that arm thing and stopped the water. Whew! I just needed to find some sort of stop-gap thing because I certainly wasn't going to stand in the bathroom in my Mayer Hawthorne t-shirt and boy shorts holding that toilet tank arm thingy so water wouldn't run. Within reach were two things - a wooden incense burner and my Anthropologie 'mandle' (manly-scented candle) in a can. Bingo! Grabbed that can sans lid, stuck it under that toilet tank arm thingy. Sweet relief.

Now, this whole time, I am fucking panicking. My heart is racing, thumping in my throat. Broken toilet means tell the apartment manager. Broken toilet means said apartment manager will have to tell fix-it guy. Broken toilet means fix-it guy will have to come into my apartment. Come into my apartment. Fuck. Talk about needing a stop-gap. I did what could be done. The rest would just be.

Luckily, I catch the apartment manager a) in and b) clothed. I tell my tale. "Oh, yeah. That's happened to me. It happened to another tenant last week." Great. "The work order will go in now, but we won't be able to do anything about it until the morning." Uh...what if I, y'know, gotta go? "Do you have a bucket? You can fill the tank with water, tilt the inner tank and it flushes! Or, you can use one of the vacant apartments upstairs." Good grief!

I didn't have anything to eat or drink after 5:45 p.m. Sunday night. Of course, with every move of my body, I felt the urge, the need to pee. I closed the bathroom door. Out of sight, out of mind.

Monday morning, my apartment manager called with news of my newly installed toilet. Huzzah! Can't wait to get home.

Ugh. The toilet is small. And, low. Great, just great. It's LOW! You know how I feel about that.

Good-bye broken toilet.

Hello, water-saving-back-breaking-knees-will-be-aching new toilet.

NaBloPoMo 11.28 - Are We There Yet?

2011-11-28T04:44:00.000-08:00

Two more days...two more days!

NaBloPoMo 11.27 - Twitter

2011-11-27T06:53:00.000-08:00

I love me some Twitter!

Twitter is active 24/7. It's perfect for those nights I'm waiting for Sleep to arrive. I can scroll through messages from news organizations, movie stars, musicians and random people from around the world. How cool is that?!

I joined Twitter a couple of years ago because, well, everyone was doing it. Twitter was the new 'thing' and I just had to be there. Of course, I had no idea WTH I was doing. Realizing that this was no place for the mundane Facebook status updates, I asked a lot of questions. People were cool, helping me learn the lingo and rules. Finding people to follow was easy - I followed people because I liked a tweet (message) or the person lived nearby or because other people were following (read: lemming) or they're people I know in real life (IRL). Recently, I looked at my following list and thought "Why am I following this person?"

As much as I love Twitter, I am utterly bothered by RT requests. RT is Twitter 'speak' for "retweet" (read: re-post). Suppose someone you follow posts a news story, funny comment or a piece of advice you really like. By retweeting, you then share that post with all of the people who follow you. That is all fine and dandy. What bugs the crap outta me are the people who request a RT - "Hey ! Can I get a RT ?" Why does this bother me so much?

One person I follow has had quite an impact on me. His name is @BlackCanseco. I've followed hiim for quite some time and I've learned quite a bit. His posts tend to deal with race issues. And, that was part of the draw to follow him as I struggle with race and identity. I started to get into a whole thing...but I deleted it...perhaps this will be a future blog post...moving on...

Again, I've lost my train of thought - ACK!

Let's see...ok...I love Twitter :)

NaBloPoMo 11.26 - Salton Sea

2011-11-26T05:40:00.000-08:00

NaBloPoMo 11.25 - Favorite quote

2011-11-25T04:42:00.000-08:00

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined." ~ Thoreau

NaBloPoMo 11.24 - Thanksgiving Toast

2011-11-24T05:35:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving Toast...

for those who hurt me I thank you for the lessons you taught me about friendship, loss and love. I thank you for the lessons I've yet to learn, in particular the ones about strength, forgiveness and the lessons that move me forward.

for those who I have hurt I'm sorry for intentional and unintentional hurts. I know my actions came from a weak place...my hope is strength and love have taken root in that space.

for those who helped me I thank you for love and support and guidance. Thank you to my mentoring communities. An abundance of thanks to my friends for listening, hearing, knowing, accepting and helping me through Life's rough patches.

for those who I have helped I thank you for the opportunity to participate in your life. I'm happy to have helped - knowingly or not.

Who haven't I thanked enough in my life? My parents, without a doubt. My siblings. Myself.

Many thanks to those of you who choose to or happened to read this blog. I appreciate you taking time to do so. Also, thank you if you've felt compelled to comment.

I wish you & yours a wonderful day filled with love and joy and blessings and good food!

NaBloPoMo 11.23 - Joy

2011-11-23T05:27:00.000-08:00

"Don't postpone joy until you have learned all of your lessons.

Joy is your lesson."

Alan Cohen

NaBloPoMo 11.22 - Crush

2011-11-22T05:39:00.000-08:00

One of the NaBloPoMo prompts said to make a list of everyone you've had a crush on (!) then choose one and describe him in great detail. I made a mental list, because an actual writing-it-down list would take a lot of time.

I recall elementary school crushes on Eric Pyle and Tony Caruso. Eric was a tall, lanky blonde kid who broke my heart in the 4th grade on Valentine's Day when he knocked Valentines for my class out of my hand and they scattered across the playground in the wind. Tony was the captain of my 3rd grade class kickball team. All of the girls at Mt. View had a crush on him. Later that year, the city did a re-zoning of schools in the district. Tony was one of the kids being sent to Adams Elementary School the next year. I was sad, for sure. But, I was also jealous because it was the only 2-story school in town. I wanted to go there for that reason alone! Tony and I ended up at the same junior high, graduated from the same high school and remain friends in our middle age. In fact, a few years ago, we randomly ran into each other while in Hawaii. We had drinks one night after his conference and played catch-up on our lives as well as our classmates.

Eight grade had me crushing on a redhead named Dean. Boy oh boy did I have it bad for that kid! I was awkward, introverted and almost 6 feet tall. The 2 of us reconnected a few years ago on Myspace (I know, right?!) but have since lost contact. Now, I know where my affinity for the gingers came from :)

High school had me crushing something fierce on John Lyons, one of the most popular guys ever to walk across a campus. He was a football star and handsome and popular and dated all the cute little cheerleaders. By this time, I was 6'2" - hardly cute and hardly little.

The summer after high school graduation, I discovered a show called Dancin' On Air. The teen dance show was taped in Philadelphia and broadcast on KDOC Channel 56, a small Southern California station. My friend Kathy and I watched the show while working on philosophy homework. One song played caught my ear - O'Chi Brown Whenever You Need Somebody. One guy in white pants and a red shirt caught my eye. I became a huge fan of the show - and its subsequent cable spin-off Dance Party USA. I watched and recorded shows and, like a silly fan girl with a huge crush, wrote letters to that guy, Eddie O'Neil. Eventually, Eddie and I would meet; and my crush turned into a like. After 26 years, Ed and I remain in each others lives as very good friends.

Today, I'm crushing on a ridiculously smart man. I'm talking smart! He's clever and witty and intelligent and completely charming. And, he's British. Good grief, am I a smitten kitten! We'll see where this thing goes...but, I gotta tell ya, having a crush at the age of 44 is so much better than it was when I was 18 or 16 or 13 or 8...I can actually SAY something to him and know, if the crush is unrequited, life will not end!

Please enjoy a few 'crush' videos :)

NaBloPoMo 11.21 - Dreamin'

2011-11-21T17:04:00.000-08:00

Ever since high school, I have tended to have recurring dreams. Back then, it was my wedding and everything was visible, vividly - flowers, decorations, people, clothes, all the details. Then, when my veil was lifted, the groom's face was blank. Weird.

In college, the dreams were more like visitations from a friend who was murdered a couple of years after high school. The last time Craig appeared to me, was the first time he spoke. It was creepy and comforting. I started keeping a journal after that.

My current recurring dream involves another faceless man. Each time, I am laying on a sofa, legs up on the arm of it. I'm wearing sweats (Weird because I don't wear sweats. At all.), reading a book, my head is in the lap of the faceless man and he's lovingly stroking my hair. It's not my home, yet it's comfortable and I'm comfortable in it. There's music and food and sunshine and some unease. Bizarre.

This morning, "Dreamin'" by Cliff Richard shuffled onto my iPod. These lyrics caught my attention:

I'm dreamin'
Dreamin' of me and you.
I'm dreamin'
Dreamin' will see me through.
Never letting chances pass me by
I'm gonna dream you right into my life.

Is that what I'm doing? Am I dreaming him right into my life? Hmm...I hope he's not wearing a green satin jumpsuit...

NaBloPoMo 11.20 - Mentoring Impact

2011-11-20T17:30:00.000-08:00

I've been a mentor with Youth Mentoring Connection for nine years. The kids in this program have accomplished great things, big and bigger. It has been a tremendous blessing seeing these young people grow and thrive.

Throughout the years, a few kids have truly cut right into and set-up residence in my heart. I'm not speaking of my own mentees, but others who have busy mentors or kids in other programs. Hoolie calls me a sucker and I suppose she's right.

My second year in the program, I met a young boy at A Place Called Home. He was just hanging around while we had Family Night. He sat outside the room, watching us, looking sad and hopeful - if that's possible. I brought him a soda and talked for a bit. When he left, I had to find out, had to make sure he was in a mentoring program or he would be included in one. Otherwise, I was going to become his mentor.

Saturday, we had a Giving Thanks group mentoring session. A girl I haven't seen for several weeks appeared in the room. Cee is adorable and shy. My recollection of our encounters was clear - she did a minimal amount of talking. I tapped her on the shoulder, said Hi and how I was happy to see her.

In one of our mentors-only session, Cee's mentor expressed concern that she wasn't mentoring 'right' because Cee wasn't talking much. I told the mentor to keep doing what she's doing - calling, emailing, talking, showing up. All of those things make a difference and Cee notices. I shared the story of my 2nd mentee, who wanted nothing to do with me. She didn't talk to me, she talked about me in a stage whisper. She complained to other kids who assured her I was cool. The two of us didn't have a true conversation until January - and the program started in September! So, I assured this mentor that she will make a breakthrough, just keep doing it.

Our Giving Thanks session opened with an ice-breaker. Each person tore toilet paper from a roll then joined the circle. For each square of toilet tissue, you had to say something nice about the person to your right. I was to the right of Cee. Her mentor wasn't at the session. Some of the nice things were superficial - you have nice shoes, I like your shirt, those boots are cool. And some of the things were truly thoughtful - you're a good mentor, you teach me things, you're a good friend. These were really sweet to hear, especially from the young people. When it came to Cee's turn, she listed a combination of sweet and superficially things. Her last comment, though, really got me - I like how you always show up. ::cue the tears::

During lunch, I asked Cee how her mentor was doing. "I don't know. I haven't talked with her in long time." I left that alone but made a note to talk with the program coordinators. While we ate, we also worked on Thanksgiving-themed worksheets. The 7 of us - all girls - were, predictably, chatty and giggly. I noticed Cee didn't need any encouragement or prodding whatsoever. She was just as chatty as the rest of us. Cee talked about Justin Bieber and explained the Team Jacob/Team Edward rivalry to me; she told me about her family and shared a story of an elementary school teacher who wasn't very nice to her. "I would always say hi and smile and she wouldn't even say hi or smile back to me. That wasn't very nice." I assured Cee that she was the better person by continuing to say hi and smile. She could have been mean back to the teacher, but she decided to be nice. She beamed. My heart was just so full at that moment.

After the session, I shared Cee's comments about her mentor with Hoolie. It's not that hard to call or contact your mentee. It's part of the commitment to being a mentor! We get busy, for sure. But, 5 minutes...on a lunch break..."Hey, I'm on a break - hope you have a good week. Just wanted to say hello." Or something. Some effort. Knowing me, Hoolie said "You are such a sucker. And I love you for it." She assured me she would contact Cee's mentor and work things out. I accepted that. But told Hoolie she could give Cee my info if she wanted to.

I drove my mentee and her sister home. As we hugged good-bye, I thanked her for being a good friend by letting Cee join our group. She said *I* was the good friend for including her - "You didn't even ask if she wanted to be with us, you just did it."

My impact in mentoring has never been so evident to me as it was in those two hours on Saturday.

NaBloPoMo 11.19 - Brows

2011-11-19T19:40:00.000-08:00

I've been slightly obsessed with my eyebrows since I was 15 years old. That was when the girl behind the Sav-On ice cream counter told me if I tweezed my brows, people would think I was 21. THAT'S all it would take?!

My mom tweezed her eyebrows in the family room by the light of a huge lamp. She'd have her stand-up mirror set on the arm of the recliner and pluck away during family TV time. Pluck pluck wipe. Pluck pluck wipe. Mom would stop, examine her brows, then resume until she had the desired result.

One day, while home alone, I snuck Mom's tweezers, settled into the recliner, set up her stand-up mirror and started plucking. YEOW! Tears sprang to my eyes. I couldn't possibly be doing this right! Mom didn't scream when she tweezed. I did it again. YEOW!! Tears spilled over. Forget it. I put everything back.

Since then, I've done everything to keep my brows tame - tweezing, waxing, Nair. I read Seventeen and Glamour and every other magazine that had eyebrow tips to shape and maintain. I even went so far as to ask a co-worker to give a tutorial on how she kept her brows looking so fantastic. I bought all the tools - slant-tip tweezers by TweezerMan, small scissors, brow wax, brow pencils, brow powders, brow gels - all to get and keep my brows looking good. The only thing I hadn't tried? Threading.

Last weekend, I happened upon a threading studio. An alternative to waxing, threading is an East Indian method of removing hair. The day's special was eyebrow shaping and threading for $11. Done.

It was a clean, bright and sleek salon. Anita, the threader, was young and very soft-spoken. I asked her if threading hurt. I did not hear what she said, but she shook her head. OK. I leaned back and smiled as my mentee stood over me, enthralled. Anita is moving along, threading nicely. A pinch here, a pinch there. Nothing too bad; definitely less of a sting than waxing. I start to say "This isn't so..." but a YEOW! escapes instead. The salon owner comes rushing over "Are you okay? What's wrong?" I told her that pain was unexpected. "Oh, the longer the hair, the more it hurts." Well, I asked Anita if it hurt and she shook her head. "Oh, well, it doesn't hurt her." Good grief.

Anita did a great job. My brows looked fantastic when I walked out of the salon. And, they still look great - even my hair stylist noticed this morning when she was washing my hair! Now there's a compliment :)

Think I'll stick with the threading for my brows. Would love to find a place closer to me instead of trekking down to Long Beach. Any recommendations for threading places in the Valley?

“Why’d You Give That N***** Your Eraser?”: When Your 10-Year-Old Is Called Racial Slurs at School

2011-11-18T18:13:00.000-08:00

This video of Losangelista's two young boys breaks my heart.

There is no 'post-racial' America.

It is NOT okay to treat another human this way!

It is NOT okay for you to allow your children to treat another human this way!

It is NOT harmless teasing.

It is NOT a "kids will be kids, boys will be boys" scenario.

It is the worst fucking word in the history of words. If you substitute the N with a J and add an A to the end, it doesn't change a damn thing. It is the most hurtful word.

Damn this shit breaks my heart.

Breaks. My. Heart.

People ~ this is not okay.

PEOPLE ~ THIS IS NOT OKAY!

@Losangelista ~ thank you.

“Why’d You Give That N***** Your Eraser?”: When Your 10-Year-Old Is Called Racial Slurs at School

NaBloPoMo 11.18 - Rant: Carpool Lane

2011-11-18T04:25:00.000-08:00

I fell into the middle of a conversation between two co-workers about riding in the carpool lane. She was raving about how great it is to speed along the 134 in the morning and at night - "Everyone else is stopped and I cruise right on by!" I asked if she carpools with her husband or with people from work. "No! It's me and the kids!" I shook my head. My other co-worker asked why I was shaking my head. I told him I think carpool lanes should be for 2 or more licensed drivers. "Carpool lanes are for two or more people! Me plus my kids. Yay!" I was a driving school instructor for four years, I'm well aware of the law. I just disagree with it.

The carpool lanes are designed to lessen traffic. If Soccer Mom zooms by with a van-full of kids, how does that help alleviate LA's gridlock? The kids are not licensed drivers. My co-worker says sometimes she sends the nanny to pick-up the kids, so that helps. Huh? How does that help - you just put another driver on the road. There was no real debate, just me stating my position and my co-working chanting "Well, the law says 2 or more...the law says 2 or more..." So, I fell out of the conversation just as quickly as I fell into it since my mindset wasn't too popular.

What are you thoughts about the carpool lane? Should pregnant women be allowed to use the carpool lane?

NaBloPoMo 11.17 - Remembering Riley

2011-11-17T04:56:00.000-08:00

It was late in the day when I realized it had been two years since I'd lost my Riley. The following two weeks were so tough for me. Hell, it was tough for months. There were several days I couldn't bear to go up to my empty apartment so I slept down in the carport in my car. When Riley's ashes were delivered, I sat on the floor, stroking the velvet box, crying.

Slowly, I got used to him being gone. I knew his face wouldn't be in the window as I walked up the stairs, but I looked anyway. I stopped checking the cat food aisle for his favorite 'treatsies' or new toys. Tossing out his cat bed was so difficult; it was so final. Every once in a while, I expect him to jump on the bed and curl up in the crook of my knee. I miss that a lot. I miss him a lot.

Every single day I consider getting another cat. Every single day I tell myself "Not yet." My sister had found a little chihuahua up for adoption and called me immediately. She text me pics of the adorable little guy. I had to say no, it was too soon. Will I ever get another kitty? I don't know.

Now, I'm smiling...thinking of the fun and laughs and silliness. One day, Riley got his head stuck in a plastic grocery bag and couldn't get out of it. He looked like a superhero running around the apartment with this 'cape' trailing behind. My friend Z shared a great story - she had 'Kitty Camp' while I was on vacation. She said Riley and her 2 cats, Cheebs & Petey, had daily steeplechase races around her house ~ over chairs, around tables, under beds and sofas. They would stop, briefly, each looking at the other...then they'd be off again! Z said that was some of the most fun she had watching those characters. She had no idea where the energy came from nor how they could sustain it. Good times with good friends :)

Riley, little guy...Mama misses you.

NaBloPoMo 11.16 - 25 Ways to Wear a Scarf in 4.5 Minutes

2011-11-16T05:38:00.000-08:00

This is absolutely fabulous! I've already noted my favorites (the Bunny Ear, Double Rainbow, the Braid, the Magic Knot) and plan to try them out this fall/winter season.

BTW ~ I want that McQueen skull scarf!

Which ones strike your scarf fancy?

NaBloPoMo 11.15 - Mentoring 11/12

2011-11-15T05:57:00.000-08:00

Saturday's 1-on-1 mentoring session was fun! Neither one of us can make a decision to save our lives, so we sat in my car for several minutes, giggling. With no lightbulbs going off, I asked her to show me where she goes to school. As we drove through the parking lot, she gave me the run-down of her day - where her classes are, how far those classrooms are from her locker, how having Zero Period PE is great because you put your gym clothes over your street clothes and you get to toss a ball against the wall ("That's what you do for PE?!" "Yeah! Sometimes I walk." Good grief!). She likes the school and is bummed she missed her first dance.

Waiting for the light to turn, I asked if there was a mall around or a Chuck E. Cheese or something. She tells me there's a place called Power Station that has games and videos and stuff. Sounds cool as she describes a game akin to the Claw thing but it uses a key and the prizes are iPods, iPhones and iPads! Sweet! Then, she says they have Skee Ball. Aww yeah! I am in! Skee Ball is my absolute favorite, I tell her. I'd spend all my quarters on it. She laughed - 'they don't use quarters'. Pfft! Whatever they use, all of 'em are being used on Skee Ball. Until I saw Dance Dance Revolution. Holla! I love me some DDR. I suck at it, but I still love it.

We spent some time playing Skee Ball, DDR, Deal or No Deal and a couple of games that give you tickets for spinning wheels. We collected over 1,200 points (11,000 shy of the Easy Bake Oven I really wanted. And, in her infinite wisdom, she asks me "Don't you have a real oven in your house?" Pfft. Not. The. Point.). I'm pretty sure we spent more time hemming and hawing over the prizes than we did playing the games to get the points. We got Friendship Bracelets, birthstone rings, pencils and more Tootsie Rolls than I've ever collected trick or treating. What a great time.

Then, we headed to the food court for lunch. Now, let me rewind to a couple of weeks ago...we're in a group session, playing Pictionary and eating pizza. She answers her sister's question with "No, I'm fat." My head whipped around so fast! I was stunned. She's thin as a rail and those words coming from her were so surprising. And, it made me sad. When I dropped her off at home, I told her we are going to talk about her statement. I really wasn't sure how to handle that. I'm not her mom. I'm her friend. Her friend that has her own body image struggles. The only thing I could do would be to start a conversation, a dialogue and hope my message gets across.

So, back to lunch at Panda Express in the food court. I asked if she remembered her comment and my reaction - "Yeah, you were MAD!" I told her the comment made me mad. I couldn't believe she thought she was fat. I was honest - the comment made me mad because she boiled everything she is down to one thing - being fat. I told her she is so much more than that! She's smart and a good friend and a good sister and she's helpful and friendly. I gave her examples of each trait I listed. I told her of my own issues with body image. She told me I was beautiful and nice and she liked that I showed up for mentoring. That was the sweetest moment ever. I stressed how the comment made me angry, not her. She said she understood; and I truly hope she does.

We'll have a group session on Saturday and I'll follow-up with her. I'm so glad we were able to talk about body image and what we think of ourselves. And each other.

NaBloPoMo 11.14 - 3 Wishes

2011-11-14T05:31:00.000-08:00

1 ~ I wish for discipline.

Setting aside time to write is not easy. And I don't even have kids! I need to be able to sit and write without feeling guilty. Once I do sit down to write, my thoughts scamper to all things undone - laundry, house clearing, dishes, whatever. You should really get that done first, then write. What if I don't feel like doing the dishes? I typically won't do 'em; but I won't write either. I'm weird. I know. And, geez, let's not even talk about Something Shiny Syndrome. Those little things that distract me ~ Twitter, G+, Words with Friends, BlogHer, etc. What if I'm missing something? What if John Taylor tweets he's broken down in the Valley and needs a lift? What if the 37th retweet wins an awesome meet n greet with Nikki Sixx or Kurt Sutter or Donna Brazile or Matthew Perry or even Matthew Lewis?! I could miss it!

2 ~ I wish to be open.

Open to love, specifically. I believe myself to be. Somehow, though, I'm wrong. And, that's distressing enough as it is.

3 ~ I wish to believe.

Believe in myself. I am confident, but I don't believe in myself much. I recently found myself in a group which included one of my most favorite people on the planet. This person is intuitive and forthright and brilliant and funny and an immense pleasure to be around. As talk turned to politics and such, I walked away from the discussion because I didn't think I was smart enough to understand the conversation. I denied myself the joy of people and lively debate because I did not believe myself to be able to contribute to a conversation. How sad for me.

NaBloPoMo 11.13 - Melissa McCarthy and her Spanx!

2011-11-13T05:13:00.000-08:00

THIS is *hilarious*! OMG! Melissa is a brilliant storyteller :)

Melissa McCarthy and Her Spanx - The Ellen DeGeneres Show

NaBloPoMo 11.12 - 11/12

2011-11-12T17:18:00.000-08:00

He was born in 1933 to Hugo and Sarah, the fourth of their 5 children. They lived at 1644 in Baltimore MD. He was a very smart kid, excelled in school; he loved music, especially jazz. He had this knack for playing piano without formal training - he'd hear a song, then play it. He looked up to his older brother and stuck close to his side. His close friends were a boisterous group who took care of him. He graduated high school at 16. He entered medical school. After a year, he left medical school. After he married, he attended Howard University School of Law. Once he graduated, he moved his wife and daughter to California. The young family bought a house in the city of Riverside for about $38,000. He raised 2 more kids in that house and has welcomed six grandchildren to the house. He is smart and funny and a loud-talker. That one year of medical school makes him a dangerous patient. He took me to my first musical theater show. He is stubborn and makes it tough to say 'no', but he welcomes a healthy debate. He plays tennis every single day. He loves trains, white zinfandel and UCLA. He is my Dad and today is his birthday :)

Happy Birthday, Dad!

Also celebrating a birthday today is my cousin, Donna and my niece, Meen

NaBloPoMo 11.11 - The One Where I Have Nothing To Say

2011-11-11T01:11:00.000-08:00

I am...

sad

angry

grateful

scared

inspired

disappointed

overwhelmed

lost

hopeful

I've been writing this post all day. And by writing, I mean type-type-type-delete. I just can't seem to delve into one. I'm not really allowing myself to do so, let's be honest.

Today's post is done.

#itssomething

#couldatriedharder

#dontjudge (ha - that's quite telling) #howmanymoredaysofthis

#thanksforstoppingby

#dontgiveuponme

#iwilldobetternexttime

#ipromise

NaBloPoMo 11.10 - Girl Panic!

2011-11-10T04:31:00.000-08:00

FINALLY!

Duran Duran shot a video for their song Girl Panic! in June at the Savoy Hotel in London. There's been so much talk on Twitter ~ every fan thinking she's so clever using the title to describe how they're feeling about the debut of the video.

The video premiered last night to a select few at the Harper's Bazaar event. And, this morning, it was made available to the fans!

Without further ado, please enjoy the musical stylings of the 5 Supers and Duran Duran!

note: the 4 Durans look absolutely gorgeous. I mean stunning. Be still my heart.

NaBloPoMo 11.9 - RIP Heavy D

2011-11-09T05:01:00.000-08:00

just learned that Heavy D died today (11/8)...this scares the shit out of me.

He was 44.

I am 44.

He was overweight.

I am overweight.

This is fucking scary. And it's one of my greatest fears - to die in my sleep, unexpectedly. This is why I'm an insomniac. I don't want to go to sleep. When I was taken to the ER last year with chest pains, I set my alarm to go off every 45 minutes to ensure I'd get up...I know it doesn't work like that. It helped me at the time. But I know it's just not how it works.

Heavy D had lost a lot of weight. I don't know how he did it; just know that he did slim down a lot. According to news reports of his death, he had apparently/allegedly gained back 'some' weight. Did he have a stroke? Did he have high blood pressure? Did he lose weight too fast? Did he regain too much weight? Could his heart not take it? My mind is spinning and imagining all sorts of ridiculousness. This is fucking scary! If this isn't motivation to get my fat ass off the sidelines and join the game, then I am already dead.

I'm a fucking mess.

NaBloPoMo 11.8 - Writing...

2011-11-08T05:40:00.000-08:00

I’ve written seven consecutive days! I’m pretty impressed with myself. It’s been quite some time since I’ve had the guts to write. Although a lot of this isn’t deep or moving or inspirational, it’s writing. And, I am doing the writing. I like getting back into the groove.

For three years, I had been involved in an all-girls writing class. It was creative and uplifting and freeing. I was able to share so many things with these women; and developed close relationships with a few. The experience was so wonderful! My creative muse was released. My writing took strange and satisfying turns with each class, with each 8-week session. I was growing and finding my writing strengths. At some point, I felt comfortable enough to try writing for an audience outside of my class and Facebook friends. I started entering contests. I did fairly well, pleased that stories I made up were being read and critiqued by others.

I didn’t expect the critiques to be quite so harsh. As I read and re-read, I understood most feedback was really personal preferences – you should have used ‘cerulean’ instead of ‘turquoise’ or this would have been better told in first-person narrative. Not much of the criticism offered was helpful. I still entered contests and submitted my stories for review.

A few months ago, I entered another contest. This time, peer review AND judge review critiques were brutal. Brutal. Thisclose to saying I should never put pen to paper ever. I was devastated! Tears sprang to my eyes as I read the short sentences from the judges. So, I put my pen and paper away.

Last month, I found an interesting class offered by the Writing Pad. It’s a class that appeals to me and my writing style. It’s a five-week course, small group and I’m scared to death to write! First, it’s going to be a personal, revealing piece. (I guess it’s like writing a blog…but I don’t see your face when you read it…and if you have something not nice to say, it’s typically not commented…so, there’s some separation, some distance). Second,

:::2 hours later:::

Crap! I got distracted and lost my train of thought. Sigh

NaBloPoMo 11.7 - Do You Hear What I Hear?

2011-11-07T05:48:00.000-08:00

Inspired by Kelly's post "Misunderstood" over at Southern Fried Children, today's post celebrates misheard lyrics!

Kelly's daughter misheard the chorus of the Joni Mitchell/Counting Crows song "Big Yellow Taxi" - fucking lot...parking lot. I get it.

I heard honest I see you instead of 'our lips are sealed.' My friend, Karen, thought Van Halen sang pray to god instead of 'Panama' - seriously. My sister firmly believed Janet Jackson exclaimed Lady Accolade! in the middle of 'Escapade'. She wouldn't accept that Miss Jackson said Minneapolis! - "Ew, no. Why would she say that?!" Uh...maybe because she recorded the album IN Minneapolis.

Do you know the song 'Summer Breeze' by Seals and Crofts? No, of course not. You're too young. Whatever. Anywhoo...

That song irritates the hell outta me! Because, this is what *I* hear:

Summer breeze makes me feel fine. Don't let me hear the jazz man in my mind.

However, this is what I'm told is correct:

Summer breeze makes me feel fine, blowing through the jasmine in my mind.

Huh? Whaaa? Jasmine. Blowing through your mind. Psh. As if. When does THAT happen? Huh? When? Why would a summer breeze blow jasmine through your mind AND make you feel fine?Pfft. I reject that totally.

On the other hand (read: correct), summer breeze...blowing...la la la...feeling fine...la la la...don't let that jazz man start playing - I don't wanna hear it! I just want to sit...feeling fine...la la la. Am I right? Are you with me?!

Share your misheard lyrics in the comments.

NaBloPoMo 11.6 - Ramble On

2011-11-06T12:50:00.000-08:00

woke up feeling totally yucky...just took my last Coricidin cold capsule, bundled up and slid back into bed. I decided to ramble for today's NaBlahBlah so there's a post for today.

Dinner w/the fam last night. Wow, we are a big, loud group. I'd want to kick us out! November Birthdays - it's a tradition. Amazing how huge our family is - my sister, her husband and kids and, now, my nephew's fiancee and baby-on-the-way; my brother, his wife and their kids...four of 'em under the age of 7. Our waitress was a trooper, though. She smiled and handled us - even the little ones liked her (well, she did bring them pizza, chicken nuggets and french fries, so what's not to like?).

I have homework to do.

I have 5 Words with Friends games to get to.

I'm currently down by 25+ points in my Fantasy Football game with 3 players left to play. Really hope I don't regret benching Jay Cutler. And, how the heck can my defense only produce 7 points?! They start out with 20, for goodness sake! 7 points. Pfft.

Pay Matt Forte!

I've got a crush. I feel giddy. And silly. 44 with a crush. Pfft.

I'm going to be 45?! Oh, I feel sick.

Did you see Maroon 5 on SNL?! "Take me by the tongue and I'll know you" - mmkay. "I got the moooooooooooves like Jagger" - mmm hmmm.

OK. I need to sleep now.

NaBloPoMo 11.4 - In a Girl Panic!

2011-11-05T04:48:00.000-07:00

**I would like to wish my dear friend, Aly, a very happy and most excellent birthday!**

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

If Fraulein Maria were to ask me to list my favorite things, at the top would certainly be “a British man in a suit, singing.” Bryan Ferry, Squeeze, Tony Hadley & Spandau Ballet ~ mm hmm. One of my all-time favorites, of course, is Duran Duran.

I’ve loved DD since they hit America. At that time, I only knew their music. LA’s KROQ had Duran songs on heavy rotation. KROQ’s Rodney on the Roq talked about them; and beloved DJ, Richard Blade, talked to them. I wanted to know everything about Duran Duran!

My family was late to the cable TV craze. I had pen-pals write me, describing videos in great detail because I couldn’t see them for myself. When we finally got cable, MTV and I became one. There would be a blank VCR tape ready to capture Duran videos once I hit RECORD. I would stay up late on non-school nights, just watching videos or the video tape over and over again.

My love for Duran Duran never waned. It’s been 30 years. And, I must admit, the band has whipped me (and other Durannies) into a frenzy! We’re all ready for the new Girl Panic! video!

A track from their recent release All You Need Is Now, the guys in the band have given us few details about the glam video starring the original supermodels – Cindy Crawford, Naomi Campbell, Eva Herzigova, Helena Christensen and Yasmin LeBon. Via Twitter, John Taylor shared some vague snapshots but gave no details. On Thursday, @duranduran shared ten (so far) video snippets, giving us a peek at the video. OMG! Durannies are about to burst at the seams! It’s like the guys opening with Before The Rain on their North America tour – it’s slow and sexy and takes you right there…then they hit the opening notes of Planet Earth to send you over the edge. What IS known? The girls play the guys in the band!

You can only see the videos via the links on the Duran Duran Twitter page (@duranduran). The video looks glam and sexy and very Duran Duran!

Monday, November 7 is the day the video will be world-premiered at a Harper’s Bazaar event. After that, I expect it to be all over You Tube and Twitter. Hope you get to see it!

Were you – or are you – a Duran Duran fan?

@TriLisaKay

2011-11-04T00:01:00.000-07:00

Vague messages started to appear in my Twitter timeline. More messages trickled in later this evening ~ friends tweeted of being speechless and sad, angry and wanting to punch things, how bothersome things now seemed trite. It wasn't tough to figure out my Twitter friends had lost one of their friends.

Then I got a Twitter DM from K:

Lisa passed away either last night or this morning :(

The friend my friends lost had been one of mine. I had recently reconnected with Lisa, a fact she mentioned to K the night before, saying she was pleased I'd been wondering how she was. That warms my heart.

Speechless. Sad. Angry. Want to punch things. Bothersome things now seem trite. All of these are true.

Lisa was truly one of the good guys. She will be deeply missed. Loving thoughts of comfort and understanding to her family and friends.

Lisa was training for a race. The fundraising page will remain open. You don't have to donate; but it would be really cool if you'd visit the page and read of her struggles and victories.

NaBloPoMo 11.3 ~ My Last Meal Menu

2011-11-03T05:41:00.000-07:00

For today's post, I decided to use one of the NaBloPoMo writing prompts:

If you knew that whatever you ate next would be your last meal,

what would you want it to be?

For this post, I am giving myself all day to eat my last meal. Actually, I'm rather intrigued by the 'why would this be my last meal?' What dastardly deed did I do? Well, that's another prompt for another day...

Breakfast: a short stack of Tis the Season (pumpkin) pancakes from the Griddle Cafe in West Hollywood CA. My most favorite breakfast ever - pumpkin filling, melted butter, a dusting of powdered sugar. The Griddle pancakes are the size of a Frisbee. Serious. Most people attack the stack from the outer edge, working their way to the middle. No no no. Read this to get it right. OMG. I kinda want this right now.

Snack: malasadas from Leonard's in Honolulu and a cup of coffee.

Lunch: a selection of formaggi e salumi from Cube Marketplace on La Brea. Cube is one of my most favorite places to chill with friends, sip wine, eat good eats. Mole' salami has to be one of the meat selections. Actually, I'd be okay if it was the only selection. Cheese...mmm, cheese...brillat savarin, humboldt fog, a hunk of tasty parm would have to be included. And, the accoutrement! Almonds & assorted nuts, prosecco jelly, dried fruits, warm crusty bread, apricot jam, but no olives. I don't like olives.

Snack: 2 of my mom's awesome Dunkin' Platter cookies that have been popped in the microwave for 20 seconds and a glass of milk with ice.

Dinner: OK, I'm about to go CRAZY! Let's pretend I have a hollow leg or I won't get full or sick...Braised short ribs on a bed of polenta, spinach or collard greens, my mom's awesome potato salad (is it Thanksgiving yet?!), my mom's corn casserole, mac n cheese with toasted bread crumbs on top and King's Hawaiian dinner rolls. I would also have my favorite sushi rolls from Midori Sushi in Studio City ~ Ginger roll, Bonzai roll, Fire roll and Spicy Crab Nugget. Dessert would be my mom's awesome chocolate dessert and my grandma's made-from-scratch lemon meringue pie sans meringue.

Dang. That's a lot of food. ::shoulder shrug:: Go big or go home! :)

What would be your last meal menu?

NaBloPoMo 11.2 - 13 Years in Number 3

2011-11-02T05:49:00.000-07:00

Last night, I ran into my building manager and a prospective tenant. The guy had seen the three vacant apartments – all of which had been upgraded and are gorgeous. Building manager was doing the big push when I walked by.

"Darling girl, come meet Tom! He likes number 16."

We exchange the usual pleasantries ~ Hi…Hi…nice to meet you…you, too…should I move-in? Uh, yes, move into this building please – you’re adorable. I told him what I liked about the building, living there, etc. Then he asked how long I’ve lived in the complex. Er…uh…carry the one…13 years, I answer. Whoa, he said, with furrowed brow.

Yeah, I’ve been in my apartment for 13 years.

It was the summer of 1998. I had just returned from vacation to find my roommate had bought a place and I had to be out in a month. At the time, I was a Sign Language Interpreter out in Santa Clarita making about $28K. I needed to find a decent, cheap place ASAP. I drove around the area, writing down numbers. I collected newspapers, those rental books at grocery stores and Penny Savers. I found this in the Penny Saver - Lrg studio in NH, quiet bldg. $485/mo. Call Allan. It was more than my current rent, but I figured with some penny-pinching, the amount was doable.

I stared at the building from my parked car. Charming, pretty blue color…let’s take a look. As we walked to number 3, Allan gave me the history of the building and its tenants. The person who had lived there for the shortest amount of time had been there for eight years. Allan had been there for twenty. The longevity of the tenants appealed to me. The previous tenant of number 3 had moved to a one-bedroom upstairs. When Allan opened the door, I was in love. Who knew a spacious single apartment could come with a full-size kitchen, not a hot plate, and a full-size bathroom with a shower and tub?! What truly sold me was the dressing room with its built-in dresser, full-size closets and tons of storage space. TONS OF STORAGE SPACE IN A STUDIO APARTMENT? Unheard of. Let alone full-size kitchen, bathroom and closet.

Back in the manager’s office, I filled out the application. Allan looked it over. “Oh, you work in the schools? I’ll knock $25 off your rent.” Done. For $460/month, I got my own apartment.

It’s 13 years later and I’m in the same place, paying a little over $600/month in rent. Every single day I think about moving. I dream about a one- or two-bedroom place or a little house with space and such. But, seriously. My rent is $600. If I moved, rent would easily double or even triple. I'd rather spend my money on living! I wouldn’t be able to do a lot of the extra-curricular activities I love – concerts, dining out, get-aways, vacations. And those are things I am just not ready to give up. Yet.

Until then, I’ll sit here in number 3 and wait for new neighbors.

NaBloPoMo 11.1 - sans Facebook

2011-11-01T05:00:00.000-07:00

It's been one month since my break-up with Facebook.

I was sick of all the privacy changes - something new everyday that I had to seek out and update/change/block/whatever. I did not like that my privacy was also dependent upon how someone else's settings. There are people I didn't 'friend' on FB for a reason. However, with one little comment from a friend with lax privacy settings, my pictures and comments and such were available to anyone! Uh, no thanks. I logged off for the last time and deleted my account (which, really isn't deleting; it's 'deactivating' and after two weeks of NO INTERACTION your account is deleted. Pfft.).

The first day, I didn't miss it too much. It was a Saturday. I didn't do much Facebooking on weekends anyway, so no biggie. Sunday morning had me half-heartedly rethinking the situation. It was football Sunday. It was trash-talk Sunday with my Fantasy Football boys. I was missing Dan's gleeful posts about his Bears and everyone's bashing of J's crappy fantasy team. Somehow, I resisted logging back in.

Monday morning came. I grabbed my iPhone, ready with the perfect lyric to start the week. Wait. Where's the Facebook link? Did I move it? No, I deleted it. Facebook was gone, remember? Oh, yeah. Instead, I posted to Google+.

My usual morning routine went something like this: check work email, check personal email, check FB comments posted within the 20-30 minutes it took me to get to work, check Cafe World, CityVille and, finally, play some Bejeweled Blitz.

I was totally okay with all of that cut from my routine. Except, Bejeweled Blitz. How was I to get through my day without a game or ten of pure distraction? Had I been too hasty in my Facebook break-up? *sigh* I would just have to get over it.

Fast-forward 6 1/2 hours. All is fine in my Facebookless world. Well, not all. "I deleted my Facebook account 6.5 hours ago. I miss Bejeweled Blitz. A lot." My woe-is-me post on G+. My friend, Jeff - God bless him! - comments: You know they have Bejeweled Blitz for G+, right? Uh...NO I DID NOT KNOW! I clicked around and voila! there it was! My beloved Bejeweled Blitz. ::insert Hallelujah Chorus:: I was so happy to see the shiny jewels. I was so happy to line 'em up. I was so happy to watch those shiny jewels explode and disintegrate.

Fast-forward one month. All is fine in my Facebookless world. For the most part. I think about going back if only to get in touch with a few friends I have no other means to communicate or talk. That's the frustrating part for me. I loved reconnecting with long-lost school friends, sorority sisters, my college roommate; I loved staying in touch with new friends and colleagues.

I've received a couple of texts - FB isn't the same without you. Very sweet to hear. Then, I'll get a tweet or text - you're not missing a damn thing.

Yeah, all is fine in my Facebookless world.

"Look now, look all around..."

2011-10-04T13:58:00.000-07:00

Duran Duran brought their "All You Need Is Now" tour to the Nokia Theatre last week (9.27.11). It was incredible! I hooked myself up with a seat in the 3rd row of the pit. Awesome!

In a bold move, the band opened with a new, slow song "Before the Rain" and it really truly worked. But, we (all 7,100 of us) were ready to get our dance on.

And, the band did not disappoint.

They launched into an extended opening of Planet Earth. Awesome!

Simon and I sing together, I get my dance on and keep my eye on John Taylor. ::shiver::

Simon and I hit the chorus...This is planet earth, you're looking at planet earth
Bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop

John swings around, walks downstage, catches someone's eye and talks.

Uh...yeah...THAT WAS ME!

Serious. The squealing girls behind me thought he knew me. I had to get confirmation from the girl next to me. "How exciting! He looked at you *and* talked to you!" Awesome!

Check the video...around 2:08 into it. Awesome!

"Damn, girl! You're tall!"

2011-10-04T13:38:00.000-07:00

I took an awesome writing workshop on Sunday morning at The Writing Pad. It was all about themed blogging. So informative! We even had a couple of writing prompts - yay :) Following is my written-in-eight-minutes piece.

~*~*~*~*~*

I'm 6'2"

I've been this tall since I was 16 years old. I think I finally got sued to my height around age 30. Which was also the time I gave up wearing flats.

I love love love heels! I love how they look. I love how I feel when I slip into a great pair of heels. I read this quote about how a woman in heels talks in paragraphs. I want to talk in paragraphs!

Tuesday night, I had 3rd row seats for Duran Duran at the Nokia Theatre. I didn't get too dolled up, but I did wear my 4-inch orange platform heels. I briefly considered a shorter heel. But the orange added that "pop of color" Clinton and Stacy always talk about.

So, we're standing in line at the bar. "Damn, girl! You're tall!" I hear it at least once a day. "No, it's just the shoes." He looked down. "Yeah, I guess it is. Still hope you don't stand in from of me tonight." Yeah, I hope I don't either.

But, I do know I will be standing - all 6'6" of me - in front of some poor short person. That person will wither play 20 questions with me or stew silently.

Memories Fade but the Scars Still Linger

2011-09-05T17:52:00.000-07:00

The other night at the Hollywood Bowl, I was harassed by the Bowl security guards and a couple of women. Four different guards on four separate occasions asked to see my ticket. I was sitting in the Pool Circle, right in front of the stage. In order to get to your seat, the ticket is scanned then your hand is stamped. No one gets in unless they're scanned and stamped. So, one by one, these guards ask for my ticket, check it, hassle me because my ticket was for Seat 4 and I was standing at Seat 1. Each time, I let the guard know there were 4 of us in the group and I was certainly in the right place. After the 4th, and only apologetic, guard left, a woman approached me. [Sidebar: all of this is happening during the Fixx's set. Oh so wrong!] OK, woman approaches me, "Hi, this is my first time at the Bowl." Great, I say. You picked a good show to see for your first time here. "So, is this how it works? You stand while everyone else is sitting?" I look around. While some are sitting, a lot of the Pool Circle people are standing...I mean, the Fixx is singing "One Thing Leads to Another" and why would you sit? I tell her I came to dance to the *four dance bands* so that's what I'll be doing. "You're forcing me to stand." No. I'm not forcing her to do anything. "Well, we can't see because you're standing up and others are sitting down." I tell her I came to dance and have a good time. She says more things. I don't. She walks away. I keep dancing.

For the rest of the night, she and her friend(s) hurled insults at me. Psh. Whatever. I'm above that. But, I have to admit it was annoying. "Fat ass! Bitch! I think the B52s are onstage but I can't see!" And then she says it. The one name that hurts me more than any other.

She called me 'Lurch'.

To understand this, I have to go back to elementary school. A group of boys at Mountain View Elementary School tormented me relentlessly. They always seemed to find me on the playground. 'Jolly Green Giant' was the collective favorite. Innocently, I would counter that name with "I'm not even green!" which would cause much laughter. One day, the group found me and started the ritualistic teasing. One boy called me 'Lurch' and the collective laughed louder and harder than I'd ever heard. I had no idea what the word was or why it was so funny. Too bad I found out. That name stuck with me throughout elementary school and into part of the 7th grade.

When that grown-up mean girl called me 'Lurch' the other night, I had a physical reaction. I was going to throw up. I balanced myself against the chair to stop from trembling. Tears sprang to my eyes. I was in elementary school. Wow. I've said the word, I've heard the word, I've watched the show. But, when tossed at me, I couldn't get out of the way.

The rest of the show was spectacular ~ I danced and sang off-key and made new friends, who were sincerely supportive throughout the evening. I definitely got my money's worth. And those women got to see me enjoy myself. What was I supposed to do? I was supposed to do exactly what I did.

Janis Ian's 'At Seventeen' shuffled onto my iPod about 45 minutes ago. And I had a good cry. I just needed to get this out.

Penny Red: Panic on the streets of London.

2011-08-10T08:56:00.000-07:00

Brilliant observation. Brilliantly written.

Penny Red: Panic on the streets of London.: "I’m huddled in the front room with some shell-shocked friends, watching my city burn. The BBC is interchanging footage of blazing cars and..."

Shark Dive!

2011-07-22T10:46:00.000-07:00

Last October, I was in Hawaii for a wedding. My friends did a shark dive on the morning of my arrival. They couldn't stop talking about the experience for the rest of our trip. I wasn't too keen on taking the dive but it sounded too great to pass up.

Last Thursday, I took a ride with Hawaii Shark Encounters and did that dive!

It was a 20-minute boat ride out to the cage. We were less than one hundred yards out and sharks were there, waiting. I was trying to see the sharks, handle my camera and keep my balance on the rough sea. I decided to give up looking for them until I was in the cage.

Group 1 got in while Group 2 listened to stories of the Galapagos sharks we were about to encounter. Rich, boat captain, told us of a great white shark off the coast of Lanai. That wasn't a story I wanted to hear while on a tinny (and tiny) crabbing boat in the middle of the ocean and a bunch of sharks.

My turn! I entered the water, holding the boat & cage bars while trying to find the ladder rungs. There were 3 sets of bars - water level for your hands, midway for your knees and bottom for your feet. The hand bars were easy to find. *bump* Ouch! There's the knee bars. The feet bars weren't so easy. Between the bars is open space, ocean and sharks. I didn't want to be kickin' around, y'know?

Finally in position (one hand on bar, knees locked under the midway, feet hooked on the bottom), I stuck my face in the water. It was silent. It was eerie. And it was shark filled! Sharks were just...there. I mean, thisclose to the cage and the bars and me. At one point, I lost my footing. As I tried to find the bar, the foot of the girl next to me brushed across my leg. I peed myself.

Rich told us just to snap photos; don't try to look in the window or view finder - just click away. My eyes didn't see everything my camera did. My camera didn't capture everything my eyes did. That was okay because I took some great photos!

All the photos from the dive can be seen here

Hawaii Day 8 - Waikiki Aquarium edition

2011-07-19T00:30:00.001-07:00

Created with PhotoShake

Hawaii - Best of Week One

2011-07-18T09:28:00.001-07:00

Created with PhotoShake

Vacation - Day 1

2011-07-11T18:45:00.001-07:00

Created with PhotoShake

THIS is why I mentor

2011-06-24T15:36:00.000-07:00

from Mustard on 06.21.11 at our Mentoring Closing Session

Filch It Friday - Finding Neverland: Can We Talk?

2011-06-03T00:01:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since my last Filch It Friday. This post is awesome enough for it to be rekindled. I almost don't want to wait until Friday!

Finding Neverland: Can We Talk? ~ please visit!

Can we talk?

Can we sit and have a cup of coffee, ignore the world for a while, and get down and dirty in conversation?

I don't want to chat. I don't want to talk about work emails and feeding schedules, late nights and laundry.

Can we, just you and me, grab intimacy by the horns and throw out all those ugly truths that we cover up with our secondary emotions and busy lives?

Can you tell me if you're carrying around regret? I am. What would it be like if we admitted all the things we wish we could have done differently?

If you woke up tomorrow to find that you had lost everything you find important, what would you have lost?

Do you feel safe enough with me to share your most private and embarrassing moments? I once glued my butt cheeks together and then to the bottom of a scalding bathtub for 45 minutes, in a terrible at-home waxing attempt. How about now?

Late at night, when the world is quiet and dark, when the conversations are over and the TV is off, what emotions lie next to you and cradle you to sleep?

Have you mastered the art of forgiveness? What does forgiveness really mean to you? Whom have you not forgiven?

When someone hurts you, how do you treat them afterwards? Do you recognize when you've done wrong? How do you apologize?

What was the last thing that made you laugh aloud and with whom were you sharing that moment? Was it the person you wanted?

What drives you, motivates you, inspires you? What scares the hell out of you?

Do you ever wonder if the fault you place on others belongs closer to home? Do you intend to change that?

What dreams do you have that you're too scared to chase? What dreams feel too impossible to even consider?

How much of an attempt do you put towards questioning yourself - your own thoughts and feelings and actions? Do you take the time to see whether they are rational, healthy, self-destructive, hurtful to those around you? Do you put the effort into really knowing yourself and the type of person you want to be?

What type of person do you want to be?

Are you happy?

Are you brave? Brave enough to take risks? Brave enough to throw everything on the line when you're completely unsure? Brave enough to test your own limits? Brave enough to break the mold and abandon everything that feels comfortable and safe to you? Are you brave enough to choose against failure, even when failure seems like the only option? Are you brave enough to give of yourself past the point at which you think you have anything to give? Are you brave enough to readily, assuredly, honestly, passionately be yourself?

I don't want another twenty-question survey about your favorite movie or whether chocolate or vanilla is your preference. Can we just talk?

Just Do It.

2011-06-01T07:33:00.000-07:00

"It's Impossible." said Pride.

"It's Risky." said Experience.

"It's Pointless." said Reason.

"Give it a try." whispered the Heart.

Write.

2011-05-31T21:15:00.000-07:00

"Perhaps it would be better not to be a writer, but if you must, then write. You feel dull, you have a headache, nobody loves you, write. If all feels hopeless, if that famous “inspiration” will not come, write. If you are a genius, you’ll make your own rules, but if not – and the odds are clearly against it – go to your desk, no matter what your mood, face the very challenge of the paper – write."
J. B. PRIESTLEY

05.24.11

2011-05-25T21:06:00.000-07:00

If you haven't, you should check out this terrific blog The 3six5 - http://the3six5.posterous.com/. It's a journal written by people all over the world. Each day a new contributor shares his or her world in 365 words or less. For May 24, I was asked to pinch-hit. Below is my day.

This morning, I sat in the middle of my apartment surrounded by 2 laundry baskets and several gift bags. I was in full-on 'panic' mode because tomorrow the Los Angeles City inspector is coming in to inspect my apartment. This wouldn't be cause for alarm for most. For me, it's akin to a 4-alarm fire and I'm trying to find an escape route.

I am a compulsive hoarder.

Nine weeks ago, I made the commitment to clean up my crap. I had 12 years worth of stuff stacked, piled, crammed and hidden in every available space in my studio apartment. There were 2 paths – one to the kitchen, one to my bed. My nightstand was a stack of REAL SIMPLE magazines (I know, right?!), each one earmarked on articles about cleaning, clearing and living simple.

Three weeks ago, I had friends in my place for the first time ever. I was nervous and edgy and jumpy and freaking out my friends would look at my space with the same judgmental eyes as me. Chickens said “Stop being the hamster on the wheel.” But, it couldn’t be helped. Those feelings didn’t get tied up in Hefty bags like my clutter.

The shame and embarrassment of being a hoarder is often unbearable. The shame is oh so heavy. When I looked at my cleared space after everything had been tossed, I sat on that heavy shame, triumphant and proud. This morning, shame sat on my chest, crooning “Told ya so! Told ya so!” I listened and was this close to singing that familiar tune. I won’t. I can’t. I just can’t go back to ‘living’ with paths and stacks. I want to sometimes; I want the comfort and protection the clutter provided. I have to fight that. I have to find comfort and protection elsewhere (apparently, food is a good remedy for this, but, I digress).

It’s only been 3 weeks and some of the clutter is back. And, tomorrow, I have an apartment inspection. So, I sit here, thinking where I can cram these things and still pass inspection? And, what happens if I don’t pass?

4.23.11

2011-04-24T10:20:00.000-07:00

In six weeks, I've cleared out over 12 years' worth of clutter. That's a helluva lot of clutter, let me tell you!

I've gone through clothes - shoved in closets, hanging on racks,folded in baskets, tossed here, thrown there, stuffed in drawers and balled up in suitcases. I've gone through drawers and bags stuffed with papers, old mail, cards, junk mail, magazines, scraps of paper with at-one-time meaningful scribbles & notes, business cards and other puzzling items. I've been celebrating my accomplishment in space I didn't have 30 days ago.

Yesterday, I was panicked and stressed...feeling so overwhelmed. I started with a small stack, a very small task. From there, I was able to move onto a 4-drawer bureau and cleared it out. That was quite an undertaking as each drawer was packed full of crap. I did a lot yesterday. But still had some strange feeling.

It came to me late last night - loneliness. What I'm feeling is lonely.

I've stacked and accumulated for more than a dozen years. These things were my protection, my comfort. I loathed and loved it all. Now, most of it is gone...and I feel exposed. It's weird. I don't miss any of it; but I miss it all...the collective.

I'll work through this, too. This is all new to me.

feels like the first time...

2011-04-17T17:52:00.000-07:00

Up to my elbows with plastic grocery bags, I somehow maneuvered my keys into their proper slots in my front door. Twisting and turning to get in before groceries fell out, I saw my apartment. I truly *saw* my apartment.

I saw space where shoes had been. The shoes that now sit in my closet because I cleared out the clutter. I faced the hoarding that had been hidden and got rid of it. There was a lot of it. Shoes have replaced my secret.

I saw space where boxes once sat. The boxes that now sit in the dumpster along with most of their contents. I opened those boxes, faced the contents and got rid of it. I can walk through. I can dance through. I can move in my space.

I saw space where clothes had been piled, where REAL SIMPLE magazines had been stacked. I saw space where there been no space 30 days ago.

And, I fell to my knees and cried.

a little progress, a little piece

2011-04-11T15:17:00.000-07:00

3 drawers cleared, cleaned out. I was able to toss most of the stuff in those drawers; though one was filled with pictures. Loads and loads of pictures spanning my life. It would have been so easy (and, typical) for me to stop and reminisce over each picture...but I didn't! Nope. I left them in the drawer and moved a few other related items in (frames, photo album, etc) to be dealt with and moved at a later date. It was easy to stick to my plan.

I moved the tea cups and saucers from the kitchen ledge to another drawer, taking time to wipe each one clean. I had earmarked an article in one of the REAL SIMPLE magazines oh-so-long ago, the idea sticking with me for a couple of years - use mismatched tea cups and saucers as jewelry holders. Brilliant! When I arrive home, my habit is to kick off my shoes at the front door, remove jewelry and drop it on the TV stand. When I leave home, my habit is to grab jewelry for the day and put on shoes. I need to remove that clutter from the front door area. So, with the tea cups and saucers fitting perfectly into one of the drawers, I moved my jewelry in...soooo cute! Necklaces, earrings and such in little tea cups; bracelets and bangles on saucers. I may have to move 'em to a bigger drawer so I can fit more tea cups in...but that's for another day.

I cleared out more...wait...ooh! I cleared out FOUR drawers! Yay me.

Then, I sat on the floor and sorted through papers. Good grief I have a lot of papers! Most of it is junk mail and coupons and PennySavers and crap and more crap. I went through a couple of bags stuffed with crap and a box of stuff previously in my car.

I now have clear space. Not little foot paths...true actual clear space. Space! I may actually be able to walk across my floor in the dark without my glasses. OK. That's a bit extreme (maybe)...but it's space. Space as a result of progress. Space as a result of me *doing something* instead of *saying something* - and it's a peaceful feeling. I did hit an emotional block. I did sit for a bit, anxious and stressing. So, I left it and moved to something else. That was new - moving on instead of sitting and wrapping myself up in the stress and emotion. I changed the music and moved around it.

I now believe my April 30th deadline is honestly truly doable. I believe I can do this. Hell, I AM doing it!

I'm proud of myself...and feeling a little peace.

Yeah, I feel good :)

30-Day Song Challenge - The Whole Thing!

2011-04-05T14:01:00.000-07:00

I filched this from Tracey ~ a friend who has exquisite taste in music.

Today begins my 30-day challenge...a SONG challenge, at that! I do believe this is perfect for me :)

And here we go...!

day 01 (3.09) - your favorite song - Sweet Sweet Baby by Lone Justice

day 02 (3.10) - your least favorite song - Walk Like an Egyptian by the Bangles

day 03 (3.11) - a song that makes you happy - Roll with the Changes by REO Speedwagon

day 04 (3.12) - a song that makes you sad - At Seventeen by Janis Ian

day 05 (3.13) - a song that reminds you of someone - What a Fool Believes by the Doobie Bros. (there are loads of these...the problem was how to choose just one...went with the one that elicited the strongest feeling & memory)

day 06 (3.14) - a song that reminds you of somewhere - Highway 5 by the Blessing

day 07 (3.15) - a song that reminds you of a certain event - I Want It That Way by Backstreet Boys (as performed by Robin Wilson of the Gin Blossoms)

day 08 (3.16) - a song that you know all the words to - oh, not to brag, but the list of songs I know all the words to is quite long. So, I'm listing 2: Rapper's Delight by Sugar Hill Gang ~ the first song I remember learning all the words to. Bye Bye Bye by NSYNC ~ totally bragging because I know this song in sign language, too. Performed this with the ASL class I taught at Birmingham HS in Van Nuys.

day 09 (3.17) - a song that you can dance to - Geez! This, like day 08, could be a 30-day list unto itself. How in the world am I going to choose just one? Whenever I think of dancing, my first thought is the 2nd Friday Night Dances in Orange County with my girls from the tall club. We had some great times and forged wonderful relationships. So, for today, a song I can dance to: Dance With Me by Peter Brown, Dancing Queen by ABBA and Black Velvet by Alannah Miles.

day 10 (3.18) - a song that makes you fall asleep - Sweet Lullaby by Deep Forest.

day 11 (3.19) - a song from your favorite band - Tears of a Clown by the English Beat

day 12 (3.20) - a song from a band you hate - Run for the Hills by Iron Maiden :::ptooey:::

day 13 (3.21) - a song that is a guilty pleasure - Macarena by Los Del Rio. I'm serious.

day 14 (3.22) - a song that no one would expect you to love - Chances Are by Johnny Mathis

day 15 (3.23) - a song that describes you - no clue at all...(is that a song?)

day 16 (3.24) - a song that you used to love but now hate - every single song by the Ramones! Serious.

day 17 (3.25) - a song that you hear often on the radio - I don't listen to much radio anymore...but it seems to me Rihanna is on the radio ALL. THE. TIME.

day 18 (3.26) - a song that you wish you heard on the radio - I Want Your Hands On Me by Sinead O'Connor (featuring MC Lyte)

day 19 (3.27) - a song from your favorite album - Small Talk by Scritti Politti from their album Cupid & Psyche

day 20 (3.28) - a song that you listen to when you’re angry - Killing in the Name by Rage Against the Machine

day 21 (3.29) - a song that you listen to when you’re happy - Relight My Fire by Take That

day 22 (3.30) - a song that you listen to when you’re sad - Pieces of the Night by Gin Blossoms

day 23 (3.31) - a song that you want to play at your wedding - I Know You By Heart by Bette Midler + David Pack ~ it's on the Beaches soundtrack. Gah!

day 24 (4.1) - a song that you want to play at your funeral - Seasons of Love by the original Broadway cast of RENT ~ I want them there, at my funeral, singing.

day 25 (4.2) - a song that makes you laugh - I'm listing 3: The Earthquake Song by Little Girls, There's a Barbarian in the Back of My Car by Voice of the Beehive and the Fast Food Song by the Fast Food Rockers.

day 26 (4.3) - a song that you can play on an instrument - Face Down by Alpha Rev. (I play the stereo, so all songs in the history of songs can be played by me.)

day 27 (4.4) - a song that you wish you could play - the instrumental opening of Roundabout by Yes or the bass on Red Barchetta by Rush.

day 28 (4.5) - a song that makes you feel guilty - Guilty by Barbra Streisand & Barry Gibb (guilty of what, I have no idea)

day 29 (4.6) - a song from your childhood - Sweet Someone by Don Ho and Misty by Johnny Mathis (my mom and dad sing this together:) )

day 30 (4.7) - your favorite song at this time last year - Goodbye Girl by Squeeze ~ it was about this time last year I learned of Squeeze and the English Beat touring together. I couldn't get enough of Squeeze songs! This one stuck with me and nearly brought me to tears when I heard them perform on the first night of the tour.

30-Day Song Challenge - Day 8

2011-03-16T10:54:00.000-07:00

day 08 - a song that you know all the words to: this list is ridiculously long as I pride myself on rockin' the lyrical knowledge. So, I'm listing two:

Rapper's Delight by the Sugarhill Gang ~ the first song I learned ALL the words to. Had it on vinyl, would write as much as I could gather, then lift the needle and put it back to the beginning until I had 'em all. Proud moment.

Bye Bye Bye by NSYNC ~ When I taught American Sign Language, one of my favorite lessons was having the kids learn their favorite songs in sign language. To this day, there are several songs I sign when heard on the radio. We'd learn the songs then perform for the school. It was such a fun time! I performed this song with some of my kids at an assembly ~ holds a special place in my heart.

30-Day Song Challenge - Day 7

2011-03-15T17:25:00.000-07:00

a song that reminds you of an event ~ Spirit of 76 by the Alarm

reminds me of PhillyRocks 2009...a benefit concert for the Love Hope Strength Foundation (http://lovehopestrength.org/). It was a gorgeous night filled with phenomenal people, now friends, and awesome music. Cy Curnin, Glenn Tilbrook, Mike Peters, Nick Harper, Robin Wilson, James Stevenson...Shannon, Tracey, Tracy, Steve, Warren, Bill, Bob, Alex, Lily and Scot...this is for you oh my friends, oh my friends, oh my friends...

30-Day Song Challenge - Day 6

2011-03-14T18:20:00.000-07:00

day 06 - a song that reminds you of somewhere - Highway 5 by the Blessing. Oddly enough, it reminds me of my 1st trip to Philadelphia. And, the person I met.

progress...

2011-03-13T18:27:00.000-07:00

made some today...yesterday, too...cleared clothes, magazines and such...didn't feel like much...then I looked at my apt...feels good! I didn't have much of the guilt...took more of a logical approach, particularly with the clothes. Good going today.

30-Day Song Challenge - Day 5

2011-03-13T10:27:00.000-07:00

day 05 - a song that reminds you of someone - What a Fool Believes by the Doobie Bros.

Too many songs to choose from...so, I picked the one that elicited the strongest feeling and memory this morning.

today

2011-03-12T19:17:00.000-08:00

I awoke feeling oddly motivated. The ideas on just how to channel this motivation came fast and furious.

First, I joined Weight Watchers. I'd done it before, with moderate success; but, money was tight and something had to go. My sister joined last week; The Gentleman joined a month ago. Feeling inspired by both and oddly motivated, I found myself sitting in a meeting at 8:30 on a Saturday morning. A lot of information to take in. A lot of changes to be made. This is going to take a lot of motivation, inspiration and support. The Gentleman said "You can do this." My reply "I can and will." So, here I go...

Another feeling that overwhelmed me this morning ~ I am fucking sick of this fucking clutter! A friend asked to stay with me tomorrow night as he's 'in transition.' "All I need is your floor for one night." How pathetic it is that I can't give a piece of my fucking floor for a friend. I'd happily share my bed with him but he'd have to come IN to my apartment. Yeah. That ain't happening. This fucking clutter. Completely of my doing. I've been good with tossing as I bring in. That just keeps things status quo, doesn't get rid of anything. I put the clothes piled on the shoe rack onto hangers then hung 'em on the clothing rack. I stared at them for a long time. A very long time. Then, I shoved most into a black trash bag. I was completely honest with myself - I will NEVER wear that again, I have NEVER worn that, this doesn't fit. There were a couple of items I rescued. I looked at them, again...then tossed 'em out. The feeling wasn't the same as when I've tossed before. This time I was fed up! It just has to go. HAS TO GO! And, so one bag did.

Tomorrow is a new day. There are two storage bins that will be empty before the morning is over.

I'm doing it. Alone. But I have GOT TO GET THIS CRAP UNDER CONTROL!

30-Day Song Challenge - Day 4

2011-03-12T19:10:00.000-08:00

day 04 - a song that makes you sad - At Seventeen by Janis Ian

There are loads of sad songs out there. There are very few songs that make me sad.

I've always been fascinated by this song because the story is familiar...I felt awkward and out of place and everything she sings about when I was 17 (and 13 and 15 and...)

30-Day Song Challenge - Day 3

2011-03-11T11:35:00.000-08:00

day 03 (3.11) - a song that makes you happy - Roll with the Changes by REO Speedwagon

Reminds me of crossing the Golden Gate Bridge in a Mazda Miata...sun shining...hair blowing in the wind...laughing...and listening to this song :)

30-Day Song Challenge - Day 2

2011-03-10T10:54:00.000-08:00

day 02 (3.10) - your least favorite song - Walk Like an Egyptian by the Bangles

The 30-Day Song Challenge - Day 1

2011-03-09T08:57:00.000-08:00

It's not really a challenge, per se.

It's a meme. It's a list.

And so today begins my 30-day challenge...a SONG challenge, at that! I do believe this is perfect for me :)

And here we go...!

day 01 (3.9) - your favorite song - Sweet Sweet Baby by Lone Justice

Descanso Gardens ~ La Canada Flintridge CA

2011-03-06T10:35:00.001-08:00

American Idol ~ Hello Top 13!

2011-03-03T23:20:00.000-08:00

I haven't watched AI for about 3 years. The talent just wasn't up to par - in my opinion, Simon had become a characature and the new judges were just not interesting. And, I missed the "ooh whoa whoa."

The addition of J-Lo and Steven Tyler did not appeal to me, at first. However, throughout the audition process, nothing but good things were said about both. So, I started watching 'Hollywood Week.'

Saw some amazing and talented singers. Cringed and cried when some chick said she didn't know the Beatles. Cringed and cried once more when the top 24 were announced.

2 nights and 40 million votes later, we get our Top 13. dun dun dun!

Oh, wait ~ Steven Tyler in pink ruffled shirt and leather jacket? Yes, please.

Scotty ~ deep voice kid. Country singer. I'm out.

Jacob Lusk ~ God Bless the Child. Done. Over. The end. I'm IN!

Paul McDonald ~ the whitest teeth I've ever seen. His Beatles duet with Kendra (who didn't make it) was fantastic. I'm IN!

James ~ Judas. Priest. Hell. Yeah. I'm IN!

Casey ~ Stand up bass? Aww, yeah. I dig him all the way. I'm IN!

Stefano ~ Not as impressed as J-Lo. I'm out.

Lauren ~ isn't she 16 or something? I'm in.

Pia ~ I have no recollection of her singing. At all.

Thia ~ I dig her all the way. I'm in.

Ashton ~ got lucky with the Wild Card. She was good.

Karen ~ I knew she was in when she sang Mariah Carey's Hero in English and Spanish. She got the demographic right.

Naima ~ Steven loves her. My jury's still out.

Hayley ~ I got nothing.

I think the guys are strong in this season; wide variety of styles and appeal. I'm sure someone can (and will) say the same about the girls; just not impressed yet.

What say you?

NaBloPoMo 1.2 - The Gentleman

2011-01-02T18:33:00.000-08:00

The Gentleman of Sophistication & Refinement

We met at an English Beat concert (surprise, surprise). The Princess and I were making our way toward the stage at the Canyon Club. We ended up standing near this tall guy.

"I just want to apologize to you right now. This is my favorite band and I'll be singing off key and dancing and yelling. So, if I hit you or make your ears bleed, I'm sorry."

We danced and sang that night and he snapped pics of me and The Princess. It was such fun!

And so began a lovely friendship.

Since then, The Gentleman and I have enjoyed tons of shows ~ Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings, Prince, the Specials, Rockin' the Colonies tour, two Regeneration tours and, of course, more English Beat shows. We'd spend Sunday mornings with That Girl drinking bottomless mimosas at Saddle Ranch then wile away the afternoons inside Universal Studios. We bought a Map to the Stars Homes and set out to cross all the names off the list. We spent a day at California Adventure riding two rides, drinking and waiting in line to get pics with Disney characters.

I often tell The Gentleman he and That Girl saved my life. I keep saying it because it keeps being true! These 2 got me out of my house, got me doing things again. The 3 of us pal'd around, explored our city and had tons of fun! We're camera whores, every adventure is well documented on Facebook, myspace and/or Flickr.

He is witty, snarky, funny and a good friend.

To The Gentleman of Sophistication and Refinement ~ thank you :) xo

NaBloPoMo 1.1 - Friends

2011-01-01T17:56:00.000-08:00

The January theme for National Blog Posting Month is Friends.

I have 31 days to write about my friends. ::rubbing hands together:: This should be good!

Stay tuned...

Dear Lane Bryant...

2010-12-27T15:54:00.001-08:00

Santa's good.

Two days before Christmas, I received an email from Lane Bryant heralding their day after Christmas sale. Bras and jeans on sale. I made a mental note because, really, when bras are 'buy 2 get 2' I'm all over it.

Lo and behold on Christmas Day, what does little Reesie get? Gift card to Lane Bryant. Well played, Santa!

So, off to Burbank I go the day after Christmas. I know, I know. Crazy Reesie out with the other crazies at the ~~maul~~ mall. I got into Lane Bryant by 8 o'clock that morning. I was out of the mall parking lot by 9:15 a.m.

I was the lone ~~crazy person~~ shopper in the store. Kid in the candy store, money burning a hole in my pocket, I looked around, wide-eyed at all that lay before me inside Lane Bryant. Like the responsible adult I am, I tell the girl I need bras and jeans for sure and maybe something fun if there's enough leftover.

I get measured. I try on. I select. I set aside. Moving to the wall of jeans, the gal asks my size. "4 yellow tall" [Lane Bryant has this 'Right Fit' way of measuring for jeans based on your shape]. "Oh, we don't carry talls in stores anymore."

You don't carry talls in stores anymore?! Huh? Wha?

"How am I supposed to get jeans?"
"Just go online and order!" She was a bit too cheery about this.
"How will I know if the jeans are long enough?"
"You can return the jeans to the store if they don't fit."
"So...I have to BUY jeans, WAIT 4-8 business days to get them, then TRY THEM ON?"
"Yes!"
"No!"

I have to buy jeans that may or may not fit, wait for them to arrive, then return if they don't. That just doesn't seem right. And, I tell the girl. Sorry for her. Why can't I go into the store and try them on, ensure they fit, then purchase? I was livid. The sales gal had me try on 'average' size jeans "for the fit" and then guessed how long the talls would be. Ai yi yi! A lot of stores increase the rise of the jeans and call them tall. Uh, my legs are long. I need length!

Later that night, I found Lane Bryant on Twitter (@lanebryant). Dear @lanebryant, Why did you take tall jeans and pants out of your stores?! I got a DM (direct message) saying all I had to do was order online.

Dear @lanebryant, I have to BUY jeans that may or may not fit?
Yes, then return if they don't fit you. Thanks!

Are you kidding me?! What a tremendous pain! These messages went on for 3 or 4 more rounds, each with a line that has nothing to do with anything, really - have them shipped to the store! There is no demand for talls! You can easily return to a store!

I have to spend money in hopes that the jeans fit? I've shopped like that for most of my life! Many is the number of times I've been tremendously disappointed when something I adored in a catalog didn't fit. It's frustrating. It's disappointing. And it pisses me off!

NOW where am I going to find tall jeans?

*sigh*

Food Review ~ The Bazaar

2010-12-19T18:19:00.000-08:00

It's no secret I like to eat. Dare I call myself a 'foodie'? Well...okay!

I traipse over the hill to meet friends at The Bazaar, a dark bar/restaurant/hip spot in the SLS Hotel on La Cienega. The bar looked cool - all dark with its tall glass-topped tables and cushy bar stools. That's really all I saw as we were immediately whisked off to our table.

We were seated in the dark dining room with a view of the bright white, well-lit kitchen. The room was bustling, movement of all sorts going on; mainly waiters dashing about carrying plates of delicious looking food. Our waiter - young and adorable - greeted us and recited his spiel like a seasoned server should. He explained the tapas menu then took our drink order. "Three 'Winter Wonderland' drinks please."

Winter Wonderland is one hell of a drink. I could write an entire post about this drink alone. An entire post! But, I won't.

So, over to our table comes young and adorable waiter #2 pushing a cart. For a minute there I thought were were getting table-side guacamole service. Nope. It's table-side drink service - even better!

This is what I remember of the Winter Wonderland - delicious, crushed nuts, liquid nitrogen and a lot of alcohol. Oh, yes, the drink is made with liquid nitrogen. It's scooped into a glass and served with a spoon. I know! Ohh, it's so yummy.

Then, there's the food. Oh, the food! Here's what we had:

Sweet potato chips with yogurt sauce - not sure who started the whole sweet potato chips/fries thing, but, thank you whoever you are.
Green asparagus tempura - these things were huge. Huge! I can't even...I mean...they're like...like...Oh! They are the size of those jumbo pencils at Disneyland or Knott's Berry Farm. You know what I'm talking about. THAT was the size of the asparagus. Fact.
Endive with goat cheese - for me, if the description reads "...with goat cheese..." I'm IN. The goat cheese had a light and lovely citrusy flavor to it; perfect pairing with the endive.
Beef hanger steak - much too rare for me, though I'm sure it was tasty.
Tortilla de patatas "new way" - this was very interesting...potato foam/soup + egg 63 *in an egg shell*! Clever. Yummy.
Jicama-wrapped guacamole - Oh. My! Tissue paper-thin jicama slices filled with guacamole. Ohh, yes. Simple. Very very good. I would eat that plus the little sandwiches and be perfectly happy.
Philly cheesesteak - these little air pockets of bread filled with beef and melted cheddar. It's no Geno's or Jim's or Pat's. These little sandwiches stand on their own as far as cheesesteaks go. The vegetarian version (Hilly cheesesteak) has mushrooms instead of beef. These are ordered per person. Do yourself a favor and order at least two. You're welcome.

Somewhere in between I ordered my second drink - Hendrick's gin and tonic. Not too exciting except for the ice ball. The perfectly shaped ice ball kept my drink cold through the rest of dinner and into dessert and it kept me fascinated.

After dinner, we were escorted to the Patisserie for dessert. The dessert bar had a fantastic selection of bons bons, cookies, candy (chocolate covered Pop Rocks anyone?), cakes and assorted pastries. I had a lovely, light green tea cookie and an absolutely delicious eyes rolled into the back of my head chocolate coffee bon bon.

The Bazaar is a wonderful food and drink experience. The sights, the sounds, the tastes all add up to something good. Bring friends and plenty of cash.

The Bazaar
at SLS Hotel
Reservations: 310.246.5555

Girl of 100 Lists ~ 20 Movies

2010-11-02T21:24:00.000-07:00

This meme is makin' the rounds on Facebook ~ thanks, Liz

20 movies that will always stick with me...

[in no particular order]

Rear Window
Amazing Grace and Chuck
To Kill a Mockingbird
the Shawshank Redemption
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
Angels in the Outfield
Akira Kurosawa's Dreams
Hair
Godspell
the Sound of Music
The Manchurian Candidate (the original thankyouverymuch!)
the Wizard of Oz
Sounder
Boyz n the Hood
Grease
the Goonies
Sixteen Candles
the Truman Show
Billy Elliot
Duel

Creative Writing In-Class Assignment 10.26.10 - Best & Worst Gifts EVER

2010-10-27T14:14:00.000-07:00

Ten minutes to write about the best gift and the worst gift ever received.

Worst gift ever? EASY!

My godmother, bless her heart, was a bit...oh, y'know...crazy. She was a very dear friend of my parents and of my grandparents; made sense she would be named my godmother. Every birthday and every Christmas, she would send money. OK, she would send a card, but there was money inside and that's what I wanted.

At the age of fourteen, we spent Christmas eve with my grandparents in San Pedro. It was a change to our traditional tradition and I liked it. Mainly because it meant homemade lemon meringue pies. (Hey - that's a contender for best gift!) Anyway, my godmother, stopped by that Christmas Eve. I remember a green-wrapped box and something about giving a gift instead of a card and money. Didn't she know I had plans for that money?! So, there I sat - me, fourteen years old and a green box. I ripped the paper to find...

The Jamie Somers Bionic Woman board game. Seriously.

And it gets better!

The game? Used. Uh huh. Battered box, round yellow sticker with "$1" handwritten on it and two of the Bionic Woman's teeth blacked out.

What a tremendous waste of a dollar.

Best gift ever? I don't even know. Loads of gifts have been the best gift ever at the time...Rick Springfield tickets, Duran Duran tickers, my first dual-cassette stereo, the California King bed I got in ninth grade, surfing lessons...with firemen...in Hawaii - yeah, that was pretty stellar. I'm leaning toward being asked to marry Laura and Jerric. I guess it's a gift, right? Maybe it's a gift from me...? Oh, I don't know. This class is a gift. To me, from me. This journal is a gift. On tour with Squeeze and the English Beat was a gift. Each of you is a gift - well, your friendship is a gift. Yeah, I guess all gifts are best.

And that's how I am wrapping this up.

Creative Writing In-Class Assignment 10.26.10 - writing prompt

2010-10-27T14:12:00.000-07:00

Ten minutes to write on the following prompt:

The town is so quiet. Its heart beats just twice a day when the train goes through.

Tumbleweeds roll. Dust clouds spin. Leaves on the trees sway. Jeb had ridden past, ridden through this town dozens of times. Good and bad points to being a hobo. First time through, Jeb fell in love. Perfectly manicured lawns, tidy white houses, blue shutters, floral curtains and porches that wrap around the house. 10:05 a.m. and 6:37 p.m. Number 733 rolled through the town. Ladies waved at the train from doors, windows and porches. Kids waved from bikes, trikes and bus stops. Men waved from corners, cars and lawns. Every day, twice a day. Jeb thought this must be the friendliest place in the world.

He jumped from the 733 and went looking around town. Hadn't he just seen women and kids waving? Didn't he just see a group of men chatting on the corner? Where did they go?

He walked along Front Street, which ran parallel to the tracks. The streets were clean and quiet. He stopped at the corner of Front and Mirage, staring at a tidy white house.

"Aw, hell!"

Jeb jumped at hearing the exclamation. Up the steps, onto the porch, Jeb peered in through the front window. Inside, a little old man rifled through a heavy metal tool box and muttered to himself. The old man was working on some sort of a cutout, attached to springs, that lay flat on the floor. He tinkered and cursed then stepped back. The old man hit a remote control; up popped the cutout from the floor. A cutout of a woman smiling, one hand waving automatically. Jeb slumped against the wall and slid to the porch.

NaBloPoMo 10.5 ~ Play!

2010-10-05T23:52:00.000-07:00

When this song came out, the local radio stations changed "play my motherfucking song!" to "play my mother's favorite song!"

I can't sing it the right way.

NaBloPoMo 10.4 - Play!

2010-10-04T10:15:00.000-07:00

Kid n Play!

NaBloPoMo 10.3 - Play!

2010-10-03T21:44:00.000-07:00

"The girl who can't dance says the band can't play." ~ Yiddish proverb

NaBloPoMo 10.2 - Play!

2010-10-02T18:43:00.000-07:00

"I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window." - Steven Wright

I have musical parents. Dad is a piano player. Never had a lesson. Ever. He plays by ear. Yeah. After seeing a matinee performance of Phantom of the Opera, my dad sat at his piano and played "Music of the Night." At the age of seven, I took piano lessons. I realized quickly that lessons sucked and I wouldn't be playing like my dad for a long, long time. So, I gave up.

Mom is an opera singer. She trained as a young girl and won several competitions in her teens. When she was in the Air Force, she was part of the entertainment troupe that traveled to other Air Force bases all over the world.

I don't sing like my mom. I don't play piano like my dad. Me? I play the stereo. Like my dad, I've never had a lesson. Ever. And, not to brag or anything, but I am pretty damn good. I can shuffle CDs, change a cassette from Side A to Side B at the push of a button; I can program a few songs to play over and over. I can even switch from radio to cassette to disc then back again! Not too shabby for a self-taught stereo player, huh?

I turn it on then push PLAY.

NaBloPoMo 10.1 ~ Play!

2010-10-01T01:40:00.000-07:00

Confucius say: It is better to play than do nothing.

So, I am going to play with National Blog Posting Month!

It's the first of the month - time for me to attempt a blog post every day in October. The NaBloPoMo theme is PLAY! So many ways to interpret the word...should be a fun month :)

The Disease Called "Perfection"

2010-09-24T13:35:00.000-07:00

Read this.
Read it again.
Share.

Flash Fiction Writing Challenge - Round 1/Challenge 2

2010-09-22T18:06:00.000-07:00

genre ~ Romantic Comedy
location ~ a plastic surgery clinic
object ~ spider web

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Her black leather portfolio wreaked as much havoc as she had, Monty mused. After sliding across the tile floor, collecting its crumbs and spilled coffee and grime, the notebook hit – and broke – the leg of a display stand. Let’s just say it was a bad day to be low-man on that coffee shop’s totem pole. The portfolio’s owner had managed to spill coffee on the businessmen behind her and the twenty-something next to her. Red-faced and apologetic, she turned and hefted her tote bag onto her shoulder…only to have the strap break, sending the bag’s contents to the floor. Her pièce de résistance was executing perfect splits while dozens of colorful sugar packets rained down on her like confetti. The patrons of the coffee shop erupted in applause when she triumphantly threw her arms up as if ending a perfect Olympic gymnastics routine. She stood, curtsied and walked out. It was quite an amusing sight.

“8.75 – it was a sloppy routine,” said a frumpy soccer mom seated at a table nearby.

“No,” clucked her companion. “She gets a solid 10 for the splits alone!” They laughed.

The cheap brown napkins were better suited for smearing than wiping off, but Monty did the best he could to clean the nice leather. The letters ‘DW’ were embossed in gold on the corner of the portfolio. He opened it, pulling out papers looking for a clue as to the identity of the owner.

“Do you always snoop through other people’s belongings, sir?” Monty met her weary gaze with a grin. She was still red-faced and not amused.

“Only when trying to find out to whom the belongings belong to, madam.” Monty put the papers back inside and closed the portfolio. He held it out to her. With no hands free to grab, Monty tucked it into her broken tote bag. She turned, started to leave.

“You’re welcome.” She looked back at him.

“Uh...thanks…” she smiled weakly. “I’m sorry. It’s been a rough morning. The very last thing I wanted to do was come back here. But, I need this thing. Thank you very much.” She adjusted her bag and jacket. “I’m Dorothy. I’d shake your hand but…” She shrugged.

“I’m Monty. It’s nice to meet you, Dorothy” he nodded. She turned and walked out the door. “Hey, wait…” Monty stooped to pick up pieces of yellow paper. He read the Post-It notes – his words, his writing.

She rushed into the office, late and completely disheveled. In the six months she had worked at the Viren Center, Toni had never been late.

“I’m here! I’m here! Sorry – it’s been a ridiculous morning.” Toni dropped her stuff beneath her desk and plopped down in the chair. Nadine, Viren Center’s receptionist, opened the glass partition.

“You look a mess! Are you okay? What happened?” Toni took a deep breath. There was no way to avoid sharing her story. In this office of women – including the doctors – her personal tales of humiliation and embarrassment were vicarious moments for the others.

“Oh, it was nothing. I simply put on a show for the patrons of Coffee Grinders…that’s all.” By this time, everyone had gathered at her office door or partition. No way to avoid it now, it was time for show number two.

“First, I spilled coffee on a few people. Then, my bag broke. My notebook knocked over a display rack. And I slipped and ended up doing the splits. I only scored a 9.85 – those judges can be so harsh. It was clearly a routine worthy of a ‘10’.” Her co-workers laughed.

“Toni, we need every single detail. Tell me more, tell me more!” sang Bonnie, the patient care manager.

“Dorothy,” a soothing voice came from the doorway. Dr. Viren always called her by her given name. “Are you okay?” Toni shrugged her shoulder and shook her head.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just embarrassed. I had to go back to get my notebook. Some guy was looking through it. He was thoroughly amused.”

“Glad you’re okay” said Dr. Viren. “Leslie wants to know if there’s a note today.”

“I don’t know…” For the past several weeks, Toni and one of the night janitor’s had been exchanging a series of notes. It started with a hand-written note on her Daily Affirmations calendar – crap read the sticky note.

She replied with why?

not an affirmation

what is?

She laughed when she saw a spider web drawn on a note with the words some pig written in it.

affirmation for the pig

The next day, two more spider web notes: terrific and radiant

Toni wrote good book
great book!

The one or two-word notes eventually became letters, though still written on Post-It notes. It was weird talking to someone you’d never met. Toni thought of the two of them as pen-pals – asking and answering questions, sharing stories and anecdotes as if writing a journal. Today, there was no note. Toni turned on her computer and started working, hoping it would erase the morning’s event.

Right before lunch, Nadine opened the glass partition and handed Toni an envelope.

“This was just dropped off for you, doll. I’m going to forward the lines to the answering service. I’ll meet you in the lot.”

Toni opened the envelope. Inside was a brown paper napkin; written on it was nice splits. She shoved it in her bag and walked out to meet Nadine. Monty was sitting on the bench.

“Hey…what are you…” Her face turned red. Toni pulled the napkin out of her bag. She held it up to Monty, cocked her head. He nodded and held up her collection of the notes they had written. She grabbed a pen.

great splits! Monty took the pen from her.

humble

“Hi, Dorothy.”

“Hi, Monty.”

Flash Fiction Challenge 2010 - Part II

2010-09-18T10:47:00.000-07:00

OK...Round 1, Challenge 1 scored me 14 points and a current 6th place standing. Round 1, Challenge 2 assignments were sent last night:

genre: Romantic Comedy
location: plastic surgery clinic
object: a spiderweb

I feel pretty good about this...

Rock out with my ink out!

2010-09-16T14:31:00.000-07:00

So, remember that writing contest I entered in August? Yeah, well, my story took 6th place with 14 points in Round 1/Challenge 1.

HOLLA!

Round 1/Challenge 2 starts tomorrow night. Another set of parameters [genre, location and object]. Another 48 hours to create a 1,000 word story.

The points total of Challenge 1+2 will determine if you (me) moves onto Round 2.

Super excited and totally proud of myself!

Word.

2010-08-21T08:35:00.000-07:00

You don't need strength to let go of something. What you really need is understanding.
- Guy Finley

my Flash Fiction Challenge entry

2010-08-20T07:45:00.000-07:00

Feast for Lady Simone
Challenge 1
Group 1
Sci-Fi genre - a magic show location - a sandbag object
(48 hours to write a story 1,000 words or less)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Butch tried to look as disinterested as the others in the theater lobby. One hand shoved into the front pocket of his skinny jeans, the other tapping a rhythm on his thigh, he considered the art deco lamps a little too long. Shaking his head to focus on the now, he looked around at the others. All of them slight, young boys dressed in hoodies, “manpris” and skinny jeans; costumed as though it were a casting call. Small groups huddled in corners...separating, segregating themselves; diminishing, dismissing others. All of them leaning or lounging and feigning disinterest. Much like Butch.

The foyer lights slowly dimmed, hushing the crowd, their silence reverential. One spotlight illuminated twelve raven-haired beauties on the second level. Dressed in white halter tops with black bow ties, tight black leather pants and sexy stiletto heels, one by one the twelve descended the dual staircase. Perfectly executed, precise timing and practiced moves; measured, mechanical moves. Though some wanted to whistle or yell his appreciation, barely audible gasps were the only sounds. Butch watched, mouth agape, as the girls sauntered by him, through the parted crowd to the theater doors. Damn he thought. I’d like to get my hands on that right there...oh, yeah…

At the door, Butch was handed a pair of silver plastic glasses with three buttons on the wide temple. The gorgeous girl gave simple instructions: adjust as necessary and enjoy. Butch stared at her ruby red lips, hardly suppressing his urge to lick, bite and kiss them. Damn…he thought as he was pushed hastily into the theater. Butch strolled down the aisle, finding a seat on the end. He looked around, admiring the beauty and decadence of the theater – the gilded fixtures, the lush colors and fabrics. The heavy red curtain, with its gold-fringed embellishments, was lit by lights set on the edge of the stage.

Butch put on his glasses, tilted his head back and fingered the buttons on the arm of the frames. The button closest to the lens brought the ceiling zooming towards him. The middle button set his focus. The third button moved the ceiling back to its proper distance. Butch looked around as the others explored the theater with their newly discovered controls.

Under the theater, twelve more raven-haired beauties collected data sent from microchips hidden in each pair of silver plastic glasses.

The private chamber above the theater was a scene of striking beauty. An amazon, clad in a long red robe, stood in the center of the room, surveying monitors and computer screens. At her feet sat several young men, gazing up at her, adoringly. More raven-haired beauties stood at attention along a wall, awaiting a command and direction.

“Ten minutes,” said a red-haired boy.
She returned his adoring gaze. “Thank you, my love.”

With a simple nod of her head, two of her girls moved from the wall in measured, mechanical steps. She disrobed and allowed her girls to dress her in black halter top, black stockings, black shorts. She looked at the red-haired boy. “Boots.” He moved quickly, taking the black boots from one of her girls. He steadied her as she stepped into each boot. He knelt behind her, zipping one boot to a close above the bend of her knee. He licked and kissed behind her other knee, then zipped the boot. “Thank you,” he said, returning to sit in front of her. She drew him to his feet, kissed him lightly on his lips, turned and left the room.

The orchestra of raven-haired beauties played as lights flashed and swirled around the theater. Butch and the others waited anxiously for the show to begin.

“And now…the show you have all been waiting to see…may I present to you the magnificent Lady Simone!”

She strode confidently onto the stage. She smiled broadly, appreciating the whistles and thunderous applause. She stopped stage right, bowed slightly. She crossed to stage left, bowed slightly. She stopped center stage, smiling, until the applause ceased. Once it did, two of her girls walked in measured, mechanical steps from the wings and removed her cape. The whistles and applause started again; she bowed deeply.

The show was a tremendous spectacle of lights and illusions. Lady Simone moved in a confident, sexy way across the stage. The audience delighted in her magic, illusions and movement. She never stopped. She never spoke.

She took great pleasure seeing the smiles on the faces of the lovely young men seated in her theater. She would take great pleasure in them, indeed, as they were soon to be hers. Her boys were growing older. She needed to replace them. Her girls needed to be serviced and fed. Her girls would be pleased. And that pleased Lady Simone.

For her finale, Lady Simone brought four of her girls onstage. She hypnotized two of the girls. Lady Simone placed these girls, head first, into huge empty sandbags. With each bag tied tightly, the hypnotized girls were hung by their feet from a bar. This bar was then slowly raised out over the audience. Butch and the others boys pushed the buttons on their glasses to zoom and focus on the bags suspended above their heads. There was no movement. Well, none that they could see.

On the stage, Lady Simone was blindfolded and given a crossbow. As she drew the arrow back, one of her girls set it on fire. The crowd gasped then hushed. Lady Simone took aim, steadied herself and let the flaming arrow fly. The arrow hit its target perfectly, the bag exploding sending glitter and confetti raining down on the wildly applauding audience. Another arrow. Another perfect hit! More glitter, more confetti, more applause.

Within minutes, the theater was silent. By this time, Lady Simone had returned to her private room, now empty. She watched the monitors, watching her girls collect her new young men in the theater. She smiled, quite pleased. She left to prepare herself for The Feast.

::exhale::

2010-08-16T07:16:00.000-07:00

I finished my Flash Fiction Challenge entry last night and submitted with 3 hours to spare. What an incredible feeling! I was more challenged by the title and story synopsis.

Now, I wait...

Flash Fiction Challenge 2010!

2010-08-14T15:23:00.000-07:00

I signed up for another writing contest. This time, it's the Flash Fiction Challenge - 48 hours to write a 1,000 word story with an assigned genre, location and object.

Last time I entered a writing contest, it was the Short Story Challenge - one week to write 2,500 word story. I took 4th place in my heat. Not bad for my first foray into writing contests.

I got my assignment last night: Sci-Fi genre, a magic show is the location and the object is a sandbag.

EEK!

I know nothing of Sci-Fi writing! I had a couple of ideas...ambitious ideas...so I slept on it. This morning, I took some time to formulate a story, one with a clear ending. And I started to write.

I am halfway through - in story and words. So, I'm letting it sit. I will edit what I have tomorrow; finish then submit by 8:59 p.m. EST.

*sigh*

When they said 'Challenge' they weren't lyin'!

Dr. Laura and the N-word

2010-08-12T18:31:00.001-07:00

What is up with everyone using the N-word?!

Dr. Laura used it on her radio show...it's okay because you heard it on HBO? Oh, come ON. "Everyone else says it, so why can't I?" Ugh. Seriously? We have a black president now so it should be okay?

To me ~ doesn't matter WHO says it: Whoopi, Flav, some 15-year old black kid on the football field or some 15-year old white kid replacing "-er" with "-a" - the word is hate-based, degrading and intended to hurt.

No doubt the word is thrown around in homes, smoke-filled recording studios, amongst friends. In private. John Mayer tossed it out to a reporter of a national magazine. Dr. Laura said it several times in a short period of time to dozens(?), hundreds(?) of listeners nationwide (I don't know much about her show).

Have you ever been called that name filled with all the vile meaning and hatred intended? I have. My dad has. My mom has (she's Hawaiian!). My family has. Sticks and stones don't hurt as much as being called that name.

I know many in the music industry throw the word out there for shock value yet under the guise of "taking back the power." It's so pervasive and accepted; which is why white suburban kids don't understand why the word riles.

Don't tell me it's "just a word"...Dr. Laura said the caller had a 'chip on her shoulder' and had the fucking nerve to say "If you're hypersensitive about color and don't have a sense of humor, don't marry out of your race." Unbelievable.

2010.

I can't even get words straight in my head.

I'd much rather listen to my iPod

2010-08-07T16:28:00.000-07:00

In one week, I have heard the phrase 'listen to your heart' a dozen times from half a dozen people. This morning, I heard the Roxette song of the same name while driving the 405, returning home after a trip to LAX. Sign, sign, every where a sign! So, I decided to sit and listen to my heart.

The buildings, the pool are deserted. Strange for a Saturday. Is it a holiday? I wondered. It is almost back-to-school time, but there are no kids to go back to school in the building. Enjoy, don't question, the silence.

I drop my feet into the pool, brief shock of cold ripples through my body as the water ripples from my movement. Be still. Listen to your heart. I fidget instead. I flutter my feet in the water. Anything but still. So, I sit and listen to the sounds...

window slides open...motorcycle starts...car revs, tires screech out of a driveway...a telephone rings...MY telephone rings...Burbank Blvd traffic...dishes in a kitchen...yelling...kids laughing...a gate clanks closed...

And then, silence.

I wait. And, I wait. Red rover, red rover send Rissa's thoughts right over! These thoughts and feelings come up. Afraid, I push them back. I don't want to do this...I know what the answers are...and I know I will have to do something about them when (if) they are out.

I sit still again. Ten minutes of fidget. Ten minutes of stop and start. Ten minutes of silently wishing my phone would ring or for a friendly neighbor to stop and say hello. No such luck.

Again, I sit still. These thoughts and feelings come up. Afraid, I let them out. Oh, how I want to chase after them, like bubbles and dandelions, pop them or blow them far, far away. Oh, how I want to chase after them, gather them up and put them back. I don't. I let them tumble out and let myself look at them.

2 very distinct thoughts return to me, circle around then return to my head, my heart. I am very aware of these thoughts, they are nothing new. They are, however, quite surprising. They are much clearer, more defined to me now. And, I'm not so afraid to pursue them.

OK, that's a lie. I'm terrified! Ha!

"Hi Rissa! Isn't the water cold?"

The still. It's over.

For the LAST time...

2010-08-04T09:51:00.000-07:00

Yep, I'm tall.

No, my parents are not really tall, too.

You feel short next to me because, quite frankly, you are short.

Yeah, I bet you wish you were tall, like me.

And, I wear heels because, quite frankly, I rock the shit out of 'em.

Please. Stop. Thanks.

August and everything

2010-08-03T06:41:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I was blue. Leaving Napa, driving home while the others stretched their journey one more night, was incredibly heavy. There was definite sadness knowing I had short-changed myself. How shortsighted I was to think missing the last show of the tour wouldn't matter! For that, I am sad.

Yet on the drive home, I was anything but sad. All of the memories tripped over each other, fighting to tumble out first and wrap me up in happy. I laughed out loud. I sang even louder. I smiled at the little things, fully appreciating them - a joke, a comment, a move, a song, a look. These feelings, this collection of bits and pieces of sights and sounds, will keep me wrapped up in happy for a long, long time.

So, imagine me going back to work today. Yeah. Good times. I was there, I was in it...I was working. And all the good of the past two weeks slowly chip chip chipped away. I was losing the Me of the past two weeks to other people. WTF?! What's up with *that*?! The Me of the past two weeks ~~was~~ IS Me. It's the true Me. It's the Me I allowed myself to become. And, I needed to get that back.

I sat there, door closed, music on, phone ringing. And, once again, let those memories trip over each other, let them fight to tumble out first and wrap me in happy. THAT'S the feeling I need to remember ('member? You 'member!). I kept it, sometimes fighting to keep it, and carried on. It's a slow process, this vacation transition

Writing did not take a backseat during vacation. On my day off at home, I wrote 3 short stories. Three! I know! I tossed one, edited the other and one is just sitting there. I blogged. I journaled. I wrote a lot. The Flash Fiction contest starts in a couple of weeks. Prepare...looking forward to the challenge - one story, one thousand words. EEK!

I did something bold today. Something out of character. And, it paid off. Just one more thing to tuck away...until it tumbles out to wrap me in happy.

Using this feeling to shove me forward when it comes to my living situation. This is possible. I have always been able to see the end, how it's supposed to be. I know how it's supposed to feel...I KNOW it, I can feel it. It's not the same feeling of hopeless under a mask of so-called hope I've spoke of in the past. I see all of this stuff in a completely different light. My life inside and outside these four walls will soon be on the same level.

Going to channel this restlessness toward something good, something new, something improved. Not quite sure why...but August - and everything - is going to be most excellent.

(This rambling writing style is just not me. It just seems unfulfilling and incomplete. But, it's something I told myself to try - just write, put it down, get it out. And I have. It's just not for me.)

uh-oh...

2010-08-01T22:17:00.000-07:00

looks like the beast that is Restlessness has been shaken and is currently stirring...just what I need. I can't go through this again. The wanting, the needing, the feeling, the knowing there's something else and/or something more for me beyond the four walls of my office. The uncertainty of what that something is or may be is what keeps me beating Restless back into submission again and again. I'm fearless a lot of the time. I'm fearful all of the time.

So many things are swirling right above my head, all within reach. I just can't decide what to pluck or what to shuck. I don't want to wait for everything to fall down on me, around me...

On another note...someone has returned to my life. It's peripheral, strictly words on a computer or cell phone screen. Talk about stirring. As much as I love the attention, this may very well be a huge mistake. Again.

On yet another note...longing to contact someone. I'm not sure how to do so, how to approach or if I should even bother. But this strange feeling, connection or chemistry or something is drawing me this way. Part of it is this whole caregiver thing I have...

Stopping.

Summer Tour 2010 - It's the End of the Party

2010-08-01T18:10:00.000-07:00

Tough to walk away last night. People were milling about and it was bittersweet. Just as I was getting to know them all - Grace, Peter, John, the others. I stood there, longing to be smack-dab in the middle of them, it - the chatter, the drinks, the smoke, the laughter. I wanted to grab it all, wrap myself up so tight in the memories of my new friends...then just stay there, warm and remembering.

I said goodbye to everyone a dozen times in the hopes someone had one wish left to bestow upon me. This was not to be. Accepted, reluctantly. My wishes were used for two weeks of fucking awesome! Guess being greedy just wouldn't be right...

There was no backstage room; the guys all stayed on their buses or on the side street. I had wanted to talk with Chris again, couldn't find him. He's a slick guy, disappearing just as you notice he's around. A car was waiting to take him away. Fans were waiting to take him away, too. I just stood there, staring. Why in the world am I so intimidated and scared? Well, other than the fact that he is Chris effing Difford. It took me a few minutes to work up the nerve. I popped my head in the driver's side door - "Chris, hope you feel better. Thank you so very much for the past two weeks. It was wonderful and fun and true joy and everything." Mind you, I'm saying this like running a sprint, words tumbling out before I could think. He smiled and said some very nice things. I closed the car door, walked away all warm and happy, smiling and bummed that it took me until the end to talk with him. Oh well...

Memories of conversations had and overheard roll around in my head making it difficult to write this...I'm actually tearing up, so emotional. (Crybaby!) I will sit with these memories. I will let them trip and fall, spin and stumble around up there...then smile as they spill out to keep me company on my drive home. Eight hours is a long time.

"Do it now you know there's never a next time..."

NaBloPoMo 7.31 Summer Tour 2010 - Northern CA

2010-07-31T09:59:00.000-07:00

Woke up in a delightful bed in a great hotel room ~ thank you Cypress Hotel, Cupertino. Yet, I am feeling incredibly lonely. This laptop is a blessing and a curse as I can't stay away from it...seeking some sort of contact via Facebook or Twitter. Someone, anyone to reach out to. I don't know how these bands do it...

Today is my last day of Summer Tour 2010. I do not want it to end! :::stomping feet::: No no no! It has been such an incredible experience ~ the places, the music, the experiences, the people. I am so amazed that this is me. Ten years ago, I would never have embarked on an adventure like this - too introverted, too hyper-aware, too scared. These past two weeks have showed me Me. I wrangled media for Dave, reaching out to interviewers, keeping them entertained while waiting, put myself out there first, no waiting for someone to (hopefully) approach me.

Like their tshirts say, I quite like Squeeze. I'd met Glenn a year ago and reintroduced myself. He's such a delight on stage and off. John, bassist, is nice as well yet seems to disappear quickly. Simon, drummer, is a kick! He's boisterous and fun and funny and is quite the charmer. Stephen, keyboards, is...well...all sorts of things. I crushed a bit. :::shoulder shrug::: And then there's Chris. I finally worked up nerve to talk to him last night. Such a drag I didn't do it sooner. I have to admit to feeling scared of him. So, I looked for him on Twitter, sent a tweet and then gave myself permission to talk to him. I dunno. Weird. Whatever. He was nice to me though I think he wasn't feeling well.

I think I'll flip video tonight's show. Warned Candy I'm likely to cry during Goodbye Girl. Told Glenn "Tomorrow, my hourglass will have no more grains of sand..." He laughed that big lovely laugh (it's one of his lyrics - ha).

I am certainly going to miss all of this...

NaBloPoMo 7.28 - the clown to the left of me...

2010-07-28T02:19:00.000-07:00

The other night, during Squeeze's encore, a short (5'5"-5'6") guy danced up to me. I was in my happy bubble, as usual, so I paid him no mind. He moved to my left and started to bump me. Eyes on stage, I leaned down.

"You're tall" he says.
"Yeah, I know." I go back to singing the chorus of the encore. He bumped me a couple more times.
"No. I mean you're really, really tall."
"Yep. I really, really know that, too." He taps my shoulder several times, like a kid who tries to get an adult's attention. Still singing, eyes on stage, I lean down once more.
"Will you put me in your back pocket and carry me around?" I look at the strangely hopeful expression on his face and remain silent.

I hope that wasn't his 'A' game.

NaBloPoMo 7.26 - Summer Tour 2010: Denver

2010-07-26T23:59:00.000-07:00

07.26.10
Las Vegas NV

Sitting in my hotel room, reliving last night, I decided to not blog about it. I mean, who the hell do I think I am?! I’m just me, so I settled on keeping part of this story to myself and my journal.

About 30 minutes ago, I read my friend Melanie’s latest blog in which she asked herself the same question: Who the hell do I think I am? Well, that’s been answered. Here we go:

I left Minneapolis to spend four days in Denver. This will be the longest stay in one place on my Summer Tour. Other than the show on Sunday, I was so excited to spend time with three good friends – Ruthie, Marc and Steve. I hadn’t spent much time in Denver when I was there as Miss Tall in 1997, so having time to see the city was exciting.

Ruthie and I met in the tall club, likely at an Orange County 2^nd Friday Night dance. We really came to know each other at the TCI convention in Clearwater Beach FL in 1997. She is such a sweet, witty and wise lady. I’ve always enjoyed her stories and company and her great laugh. Graciously, Ruthie was my airport shuttle and Denver tour guide. We lunched at this FAB restaurant called Encore on Colfax . Wow! The food menu wasn’t lengthy; but everything on the menu was such an interesting pairing/combination: seared scallops with watermelon/tomato/corn/fennel relish on mixed greens; fig & pig pizza (fig paste, prosciutto, gorgonzola); mac n cheese with English peas and toasted almonds. Such a delightfully different menu. So delightful, in fact, I went back the next day! Anyway, it was great to catch up with Ruthie…

Saturday afternoon was my Marco time! We met three years ago when he invited the BFFs to his time share in Puerto Vallarta. We got on great, had a great week in PV. The two of us spent a lot of time sitting on the patio or balcony, talking about music and life and everything in between. We became very good friends and stayed in touch. So, when he picked me up, we fell right into our easy chatter like no time had passed at all. I love friendships like that. We headed over to an area called the Highlands, to a bar called Lola. I was digging the vibe. It was eclectic and the crowd was age and ethnically diverse. I’d never seen so many inter-racial couples in one place! Honestly, did not think Denver would be so diverse. Marc and I abandoned Lola for the quieter Forest Room 5. This was a strange place – cuckoo clocks on the walls, a close-captioned Western showing on the wall above the bar, wood stumps for barstools, huge wood slabs (for lack of a better word/description) was the bar. Then, I spotted the Hendrick’s gin and all was less strange.

Sunday afternoon had me back at Encore restaurant with Steve and Chrissy. I’d heard so much about Chrissy that I just knew I knew her. And, it was an easy friendship from the get-go. The two of them walked into the hotel lobby and we hugged. Friends. Done. She is so lovely! And the two of them together are so fantastic. We caught up on life and chatted about John Mayer and Michael Jackson. Steve is out in SoCal often so we plan to get together again soon. Chrissy and I will make our own plans sans Steve.

Sunday night was the 2^nd show of Summer Tour 2010. The Ogden is a great theater – huge, open venue with a balcony and split levels. In terms of layout, I would compare it to the Wiltern. Squeeze had their merchandise set up in the lobby, sharing space with the bar. This left a corner inside the theater for the Beat stuff. Candy and I were elated – we’d be able to SEE the show, not just hear it, like at the zoo. We were so ridiculously giddy! When Squeeze came on to do sound check, the two of us stopped arranging the merch to sing ‘Annie Get Your Gun’ as loud as our out-of-tune voices could get.

While waiting, two people came into the venue.

“Hi. Aren’t you Shannon? Love Hope Strength…?” I’m sure she gets that a lot. Shannon is the Executive Director of the Love Hope Strength Foundation which provides support for cancer-care centers around the world.
“I am.”
“Hi – I’m Rissa…met you last year at the PhillyRocks event.”

Shannon and Jeremy were there for the LHS ‘Get on the List’ bone marrow donor drive. (Sidebar: it’s easy, it’s painless and it’s FREE to get on the list at concerts around the country this summer. Do it!). That table was set up on the other side of the venue, we said our “See you laters” and got on with our business.

The Squeeze set was most excellent! With each song, Candy or I would squeal “Ohh, I LOVE this song!” then start singing and dancing. “Goodbye Girl” is the one that makes us pause to relive the memories each of us has associated with the song. I love watching Stephen on the keyboards – he’s so energetic and looks mighty fine in a well-tailored suit. When he breaks out the iPad for “Pulling Mussels” it’s so awesome! Technology, meet the 80s. Fantastic, I say.

After the show, Shannon invited me to join her and Jeremy for a drink at a bar across from my hotel two blocks away. After saying my goodbyes, I walked down to meet them at the Irish Snug. However, they were nowhere to be found. Uh…okay. I’m looking both ways, ready to run across Colfax Avenue to my hotel when I hear yelling. “RISSA! RISSA! OVER HERE!”

I make my through the bar to the outside patio and am greeted by Shannon, Jeremy, Simon (Squeeze drummer) and…Glenn Tilbrook. My stomach did flips worthy of Olympic competition 10s! I’m fairly certain my face did not betray my giddiness. Glenn stood up, kissed my cheek, hugged me and said “It’s nice to see you again.” Naturally, I would like to think he would remember me from September 2009 in Philadelphia. The likelihood of that is unlikely. He probably remembered me from staring at him during sound check at the zoo three nights prior! No matter. I was just hugged by Glenn Tilbrook.

Let me just say this – it is awesome to see movie stars and celebrities when out and about. However, musicians and songwriters bring out the 12 year-old girl in me. I identify so much with music and lyrics; every important or life-changing or defining moment is associated with a song or three. So, meeting any of these brilliant musicians/songwriters is a huge deal for me.

We were joined by Stephen and Ray, keyboardists for Squeeze and the English Beat, respectively. I enjoyed chatting up Stephen, talking about walking in L.A., flying in a helicopter over the Grand Canyon, Las Vegas and franchising Hot Chick-a-Latte. He is adorable! (And the British accent does not hurt at all)

I moved back into conversation with Shannon and Glenn, talking about last year’s Mt. Kilimanjaro climb, the upcoming trek to Mt. Fuji, how to get the LHS/Get on the List word out at the rest of the shows and the closing of the Rocky Stairs at the Philadelphia Museum of Art for a two-year, $1.5 billion renovation. I must admit, a few times my mind shut-down and all I could think was “That is Glenn Tilbrook. Glenn. Tilbrook.”

Our night was cut short by the tour manager’s mildly scolding “The bus is leaving.” I was sad. I didn’t want it to end! We said our goodbyes to Shannon and Jeremy. Stephen and Glenn hugged me and said “See you in Vegas.” Simon chimed in “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, right?” We shall see…

With that, I bid you a good-night from Las Vegas.

NaBloPoMo 7.23

2010-07-23T09:33:00.000-07:00

Aww, man! I missed a couple of NaBloPoMo days. Could back date...nah, I won't :(

It is Day Two of Summer Tour 2010 and I'm in Minneapolis MN today. This little inn where I'm staying is nice - clean rooms, shuttle service to airport & local attractions, free breakfast, indoor pool, free wi-fi. Dig it.

Day One started yesterday at 4:00 a.m. I do not wear that well at all. The flight from LAX to Denver wasn't so bad. Well, loud talking dude was annoying...but the flight itself was uneventful. I changed planes in Denver, a nice airport with several Caribou Coffee stops in Terminal C, clean bathrooms and, judging by the crowded recharge stations, free wi-fi.

While waiting, I realized the plane I was about to board originated in another city. Crap. It's been my experience that changing planes usually meant I would not be in an exit row with leg room. And, this was to be my experience once again. Short people in the exit rows, all the way across. Grr. They were all smiles and laughing. I consoled myself with two Screwdrivers.

Within seconds of walking into my hotel room, I get a text: Sound check @ 5. I showered, dressed and went to the lobby to hail a cab.

Let me interject right here: the Apple Valley MN AmericInn has the best customer service. There for less than 24 hours, these girls were awesome! I wrote to the general manager so he would know he done good.

OK...back to the lobby, looking for a cab. "Where are you going?" "To the zoo." "You don't need a cab, we'll take you in the shuttle." Well, alright! I was shuttled to the zoo, given a business card with the phone number highlighted and told to call before 11 p.m. to get a ride back. No problem, the show would be over by 10:30.

The sound check was fun! I loved watching the guys roam about, joking and chatting up Dave. I couldn't help but smile like a damn fool - here's *me* in an empty venue watching two legendary bands sound check. I was afraid to move, afraid to draw attention to myself for fear someone would figure out I didn't belong or something then kick me the hell out. It didn't happen, luckily.

Both sets were great. The crowd was on their feet dancing and singing along to both bands' classic hits. After selling EB shirts through the first few songs, I ran down to watch some of Squeeze's set. Perfect timing as one of the songs was Goodbye Girl - which I love love love! The rest of their set, I was back at the merch table awaiting the rush, so I only heard Pulling Mussells, Tempted and Up the Junction.

During the encore, I called the AmericInn for the shuttle service. Turns out, the shuttle was stuck on the highway behind an accident with guests going to the airport and I was out of luck. I asked Melissa if I could get a number for a taxi service. She didn't hesitate - I'll call the cab for you, give them your cell. Thank you! She called me right back to say the cab would be at the zoo in 20 minutes.

I made my way through the zoo to the front entrance. Within 5 minutes, the cab company calls to say it's on its way. The only problem? Was I to meet it at the zoo entrance or on the street? I called the company and saw the cab approach as I talked. At the same time, two too buzzed guys spotted the cab.
"Taxi! Taxi!" One of the guys yelled.
"Whoa, guy - that's mine."
"No it's not."
"If it's Airport Cab company, it's mine."
"Fuck you."
"Have a good night."
I get into the cab, with the 2 guys right on my heels.
"Dude, can you call us a cab? We need a cab."
"Where you going?"
"To the near the airport." The cab driver looked at me. In a low voice he says "It's past where you are..."
"Hey," I say "He can drop me off first then take you guys, if you care to share." They scrambled in.
"Thank you! You're not scared of us?"

We had a nice chat about the show and music and stuff in the ten minutes it took to get me back. I hand the cab driver money, but one guy told him not to take it. "We got it. You didn't have to share the cab with us. Thank you." I smiled and saved myself $11.

I am now in Denver. Lunch tomorrow with Ruthie. Drinks, dinner and whatever with Marco tomorrow. Lunch on Sunday with Esteban. I'm a happy girl!

I love vacation!