Tuesday, March 30, 2010

my Short Story Challenge entry + judges' feedback

Owen fell to his knees, wailing. He had not felt anything until that very moment. Overwhelmed by the event of the past two weeks, he could only wail. The pain, the sorrow, the realization that she was gone…burst from his gut, freed in an animalistic wail. Delia. His beloved Delia had died.

Owen had switched to auto-pilot immediately. He handled all of the details – calling her family and friends, dealing with their questions and grief; calling her work; planning and making all of the arrangements for her funeral, dealing with the rote questions and their sympathy. Her family marveled at his strength in the wake of this tragedy. His family waited for him to break.

The evening of the funeral, after everyone had finally left him alone, he walked to their bedroom closet and started packing her things. He carefully pulled dresses and blouses off hangers, meticulously folded each one then stacked it in a box. Drawers were opened, surveyed and emptied of their contents. Without thought or consideration, Owen cleared it all away. Close to midnight, he labeled the last box and left it in the garage. The charity truck would be by the next afternoon to pick up the boxes and bags filled with Delia’s clothes, shoes, books, anything – everything – that was hers.

Except the piano. The piano stayed.

Delia had played the piano since she was six. It was what brought the two of them together. She had walked into the Common Grounds coffee shop near campus wearing a yellow sundress and motorcycle boots, wild chestnut-colored curls hastily tucked under a Seattle Mariners baseball cap. While the sight of her definitely appealed to him, when she sat at the piano and started to play, Owen was captivated. He watched her long slender fingers glide over the piano keys, softly eliciting beautiful tones. He watched the way she swayed; how she would bend and bow, lost in her music. He bought her a scone and tea and they talked for hours.

The piano once belonged to her grandmother. Her father would tell stories of family nights in the living room, his mama playing sweet tunes. He would continue the tradition with Delia and her brothers. The piano was a gift to Delia when she married Owen, in hopes she would carry on the same tradition with her family. Delia’s playing brought color and light; filled their home with music and love.

Owen slowly opened his eyes. He had cried himself to sleep curled under to Delia’s piano. In the darkness of the room, Owen pulled himself onto the bench. He caressed the piano, felt its sharp corners and angles; exposing its keys, he let his hand touch each one from end to end. Owen lightly hit each key, listening to the sound resonate. Those light, gingerly touches gave way to forceful punches. He mimicked her swaying, her bending and her bowing. And there was no music. There was discord and chaos. There was silence and empty.

Owen stared into the darkness, the silence filling him. He caught a light fading to his left. He pounded the keys out of frustration…and light flashed. Owen timidly touched piano keys…and light dimmed. Slowly, with purpose, he struck one key at a time…and light slowly broke the dark. Splayed fingers and hands haphazardly pushed keys. With clenched fists, Owen pummeled the keys…and light burst in front of him. Standing up, kicking the piano bench away, Owen continued to beat the piano keys – rhythmically, harshly. He watched the glimmering light dance into a yellow dress; her yellow dress. He stopped; the light faded.

Owen punched, pounded and pummeled the keys and watched Delia’s yellow dress slowly appear. From his disharmony came her beauty and light. He thrashed about, tears streaming down his face, calling her name. Wild chestnut-colored curls tumbled out from under a baseball cap. That yellow dress swayed without a breeze. And there was music.

Piano broken. Hands broken and bleeding. The light faded. Delia faded.

Owen fell to his knees, wailing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Below is the feedback I received from the judges of the Short Story Challenge 2010:

WHAT THE JUDGE(S) LIKED ABOUT YOUR SCRIPT - ...So much said with so few words. The visual language used in this, especially in the last half of the story while he's beating at the piano, is so lovely. Such a romantic take on a "ghost story".............Well-written. Some nice images/descriptions: "Her family marveled at his strength… His family waited for him to break."............................................................ WHAT THE JUDGES FEEL NEEDS WORK - ...The only thing I can think to work on would maybe be giving the readers a few more short snapshots of their courtship and their life together to make his lose that much more devastating.............It seemed odd that Owen would arrange to have Delia's things picked up the day after her funeral. It was also odd that, being so in love with Delia, he would get rid of all her belongings (except, of course, the piano). I would have liked to have known the cause of Delia's death............................

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Short Story Challenge 2010

Last month, I entered the Short Story Challenge. The challenge was to write a short story with a specific genre and object within one week. In my group of 30, our challenge was to write in the genre of a ghost story with a piano as our object.

Last week, it was announced that my story took fourth place in our group. Not too bad for my first time out!

Please leave comments, feedback, criticism, etc. Thanks - rissa




Owen fell to his knees, wailing. He had not felt anything until that very moment. Overwhelmed by the event of the past two weeks, he could only wail. The pain, the sorrow, the realization that she was gone…burst from his gut, freed in an animalistic wail. Delia. His beloved Delia had died.

Owen had switched to auto-pilot immediately. He handled all of the details – calling her family and friends, dealing with their questions and grief; calling her work; planning and making all of the arrangements for her funeral, dealing with the rote questions and their sympathy. Her family marveled at his strength in the wake of this tragedy. His family waited for him to break.

The evening of the funeral, after everyone had finally left him alone, he walked to their bedroom closet and started packing her things. He carefully pulled dresses and blouses off hangers, meticulously folded each one then stacked it in a box. Drawers were opened, surveyed and emptied of their contents. Without thought or consideration, Owen cleared it all away. Close to midnight, he labeled the last box and left it in the garage. The charity truck would be by the next afternoon to pick up the boxes and bags filled with Delia’s clothes, shoes, books, anything – everything – that was hers.

Except the piano. The piano stayed.

Delia had played the piano since she was six. It was what brought the two of them together. She had walked into the Common Grounds coffee shop near campus wearing a yellow sundress and motorcycle boots, wild chestnut-colored curls hastily tucked under a Seattle Mariners baseball cap. While the sight of her definitely appealed to him, when she sat at the piano and started to play, Owen was captivated. He watched her long slender fingers glide over the piano keys, softly eliciting beautiful tones. He watched the way she swayed; how she would bend and bow, lost in her music. He bought her a scone and tea and they talked for hours.

The piano once belonged to her grandmother. Her father would tell stories of family nights in the living room, his mama playing sweet tunes. He would continue the tradition with Delia and her brothers. The piano was a gift to Delia when she married Owen, in hopes she would carry on the same tradition with her family. Delia’s playing brought color and light; filled their home with music and love.

Owen slowly opened his eyes. He had cried himself to sleep curled under to Delia’s piano. In the darkness of the room, Owen pulled himself onto the bench. He caressed the piano, felt its sharp corners and angles; exposing its keys, he let his hand touch each one from end to end. Owen lightly hit each key, listening to the sound resonate. Those light, gingerly touches gave way to forceful punches. He mimicked her swaying, her bending and her bowing. And there was no music. There was discord and chaos. There was silence and empty.

Owen stared into the darkness, the silence filling him. He caught a light fading to his left. He pounded the keys out of frustration…and light flashed. Owen timidly touched piano keys…and light dimmed. Slowly, with purpose, he struck one key at a time…and light slowly broke the dark. Splayed fingers and hands haphazardly pushed keys. With clenched fists, Owen pummeled the keys…and light burst in front of him. Standing up, kicking the piano bench away, Owen continued to beat the piano keys – rhythmically, harshly. He watched the glimmering light dance into a yellow dress; her yellow dress. He stopped; the light faded.

Owen punched, pounded and pummeled the keys and watched Delia’s yellow dress slowly appear. From his disharmony came her beauty and light. He thrashed about, tears streaming down his face, calling her name. Wild chestnut-colored curls tumbled out from under a baseball cap. That yellow dress swayed without a breeze. And there was music.

Piano broken. Hands broken and bleeding. The light faded. Delia faded.

Owen fell to his knees, wailing.

Wednesday, March 03, 2010

Creative Writing Homework 03.02.10

Incorporate the words below in a story which takes place in the waiting room of a doctor's office:
plumage
reverberation
galvanized
tingling
groan
wrestle
mechanical
reverie
anatomical
despair
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I must’ve been about 6 or 7 when I figured out my family is crazy. Not your typical, run-of-the-mill, “Oh, they leave their Christmas lights up all year long” kind of crazy. But, the bona fide, certified, nuthouse kind of crazy.

It was a typical Saturday night – Dada sittin’ in his easy chair, smoking Middleton’s Cherry tobacco in his favorite pipe, Pastor, my brother, in the corner reading his Bible with a Webster’s Dictionary, Mama in her purple get-up with the pretty peacock plumage and me, sittin’ by the radio. Mama loved to prance around the living room, trying to get Dada or Pastor to dance with her. They hardly ever did. Dada would groan; Pastor would wrestle away from her. So, Mama danced and pranced by herself. Mama didn’t dance as much as she jiggled or shimmied. The feathers bobbing made her look like a chicken, its neck moving back and forth. A funny sight to see indeed.

“Turn that up, Lulu. Turn that radio right up!” I obliged. “Oh, I love this song!” she squealed. “Your daddy and I used to dance and dance to this song. Remember, Daddy? Remember?”


Dada looked at Mama with sparkle in his eyes. “Yes, I remember. We cut quite a figure on that dance floor, Ma.” He put down his pipe, stood up and took Mama’s hand. They jumped and hopped, twirled and swirled across the floor. It gave me a tingling in my belly to watch them ~ Dada smiling and whistling; Mama humming and giggling. She looked like bird with all those feathers ~ a crazy happy bird dancing in our front room. Dada twirled Mama a bit too fast causing her to stumble and fall. Pastor and I scrambled into the car as Dada carried Mama who was bawling “Oh, Christmas my back is hurtin’ me so! Oh, Henry! Henry! Oh, Christmas my back is hurtin’ me so!”

I opened the waiting room door for Dada, who had Mama leaning on his back, her arms wrapped around his waist, feathers bobbing; and Pastor holding his Bible on Mama’s back, praying. Once Mama saw the people inside waiting, she wailed in pain, making sure someone was watching her. If no one was looking, she would bellow “Oh, Christmas my back is hurtin’ me so!” loud enough to shake the patient check-in window. “Oh, Christmas…ohhh, Christmas!” Oh, geez. I made myself as small as I could in a chair across the room.

I guess this is as good a time as any to tell you that Pastor isn’t my brother’s real name. It’s Jesse. And I guess this is as good a time as any to tell you my brother thinks he’s the Reverend Jesse Jackson.

Pastor stood in the middle of the waiting room, introducing himself. “Hello. I am the Reverie Jesse Jackson. The Lord says do not despair. Galvanize around now. All of you, galvanize ‘round me – let me lay my healing hands upon you.” I looked at him through spread fingers covering my face.

Of course, no one gathered ‘round.

“Let me lay my hands on you” he pleaded. “Let me heal you. Let the reverberation of my hands shake your ills away.” He shook his Bible in the air.

Four of the five people in the waiting room looked at the floor. It was look at Mama, look at Pastor or look at the floor.

One lady smiled at him. And all it took was one. Pastor was next to her in a flash.

“Oh, Sister – tell the Reverie what ails you.” I shook my head slowly, wishing she would not answer; willing her to turn away. She didn’t. I did.

“I have a torn meniscus” she said softly, looking at him like he was a lost boy. Pastor took her hand in his, laid it on the Bible.

“A torn mechanical? A torn mechanical! Lord, this sister has mechanical troubles!” He looked up at the ceiling, Bible and this lady’s hand clutched to his chest. “My small anatomical mind cannot compress why her car is torn, Lord. But, we come before you, Lord…we pray you fix her car so she is free to spread your word, Lord. Amen.”


“No…my car is…”

“No need to thank me, Sister.” Pastor turned and walked back to sit next to Mama.

She continued her “Oh, Christmas…” wailing until Dr. Willis came for her. Dada stood up, Mama was behind him arms around his waist, feathers bobbing; Pastor held his Bible to her back, praying…the 3 of them waddled through the exam room door and disappeared, looking like a duck leading ducklings.

I just sat there, waiting for my crazy family to return.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Interrupting all programs...

So, there I was...sitting in my office, listening as my VP told stories of her trip to Cabo the weekend before...when I noticed pressure and a stabbing pain on the left side of my chest. There was no pain in my arm, no irregular breathing, sweating, nausea. Nothing. Just this pressure, this heaviness and stabbing pain. It was 9:30 a.m.

When hunched over my keyboard, the pain & pressure weren't as stabbing or heavy; so I sat like that. Until 11 o'clock.

That's when I had this tremendous explosion of pain on the left side of my head, behind my eye. Nothing happened to my vision; just pain in my head. And pain in my chest. Still.

I call Kaiser...talk to the advice nurse...and end up in the ER before noon.

All of the test results were good ~ blood pressure, blood test, x-ray, EKG. I left there 4 hours later with the pain unexplained. The doctor said the chest pains were likely due to stress and/or anxiety. "Do you have any stress in your life or at your job?" You're kidding me, right? *Sigh*

Anyway...I was sent home with instructions to 'rest and avoid stress.' You're kidding me, right?

I'm feeling mostly okay today, just a bit of discomfort.

Time off from work has been discussed with my boss; the dates TBD.

And how was YOUR Monday?

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Open the Door and Let Him In...

Six people have been in my apartment since confessing I am a hoarder.

The 7th person came in today.

I haven't had gas in my apartment for ten years. Yeah, I know. I've had no heat. I use the microwave or crock pot to cook, or simply order take-out. Today, I had the gas turned back on in my apartment.

I spent most of the morning cleaning & clearing more stuff, clearly wishing I had a normal apartment before letting someone else in. The guy knocked around 1 o'clock and I hesistantly let him in.

To his credit, he didn't startle or blink. But after the third time out then in, he said "My mom and sister are hoarders. Like, really bad. Like the ones on that TV show." Blink blink "I'm a hoarder myself. But not like the ones on TV." Then he walked out. Blink blink He did his thing ~ lighting the pilots, cleaning the vents and lines and such. I told him my apartment has been a work-in-progress for 2 years. He said congrats and told me to keep moving forward. Then, he left.

I'm encouraged now more than ever.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Creative Writing In-Class Assignment 02.16.10 - Look What I Found in the Dumpster...

We're given a prompt and 12-13 minutes to write...

Look what I found in the dumpster...

it's my life...in black Hefty trash bags!

I spent my Monday morning in the throes of decluttering. You'd think I'd have nothing left in my apartment...you'd be incorrect, Sir!

Like I said, I spent my Monday morning decluttering. I started with a set of drawers - purposedly untouched because I know what lurks inside. Bills, magazines, receipts, mail, letters, notes, crap, crap and more crap.

Crayons, markers, coloring books. Really?

Boxes of stamps and ink from my "crafty" period.

Tons of scrapbooking items from my "craty" period, phase II.

Pictures from my last day of teaching in 2000 of kids I don't remember.

Cards from people all over the world congratulating me on my pageant win. In 1997.

Without thought, these pieces of me were thrown into black trash bags, tied up and left outside my apartment door. I moved on to three stacked drawers and attacked with the same fervor and absence of thought - toss, tie, outside the door.

As I dragged the last of six bags down to the dumpster, I stared at the scene. Pieces of me and my life in six black trash bags, sitting in a dumpster. I ran upstairs and right into bed.

I thought this process would be freeing, lifting a burden, relief and release. Not yesterday. It was almost paralyzing. It's left me raw and exposed and feeling extremely vulnerable.

I know this is a good thing. Or, it will be. But yesterday, I found pieces of me in the dumpster and that sucked.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

WB Mentoring 2010 ~ the Match-Ups

Today's mentoring session was all about the matching of mentors with mentees. It's one of the most fun sessions.

Each person had a sticker placed on his/her back. The stickers had the person's name + a random word - salsa, Lucky, Luigi, mustard, milk, etc. The purpose of the matching game was for mentors - only talking to mentees - to ask ONE question in hopes of learning the word on the sticker on their back. After you correctly guess your word, mentors and mentees were to find their pair - milk & cereal, chips & salsa, Mario & Luigi, Mickey & Minnie (we're WB! tsk tsk tsk), etc.

My word was Jelly (as in I don't think you're ready for this...). My first thought was jelly donut (hey - I was hungry!) but figured I should find Peanut Butter. Alas, there was no Peanut Butter to be found. The 2 girls I thought would likely be matched with me were no match for my Jelly. I was matchless. Boo!

I overheard one of the administrators say my mentee didn't want to stay in the program. I was bummed; but knew Hoolie and Derry would kick some sense into the girl. Relief! I get to stay in the program!

There was one matchless mentee, Patty. Her mentor was absent; so the 2 of us were thrown together for the sake of completing the task at hand. I remember Patty from our first session - she'd had her iPod on and I asked what she was listening to.

"Do you know Billy Idol?"

Huh? Wha'?! Do *I* know Billy Idol?! Girrrl, who you talkin' to?! Do you know Billy Idol? Ha!

Patty and I interviewed each other, chatted about school, movies and the difference between potatoes and sweet potatoes. We were laughing a lot and having a great time.

Hoolie came over ~ "Okay, fine. You're matched." After some convincing (wink), I finally caved.

May I present to you Patty ~ my new mentee and friend!


Monday, February 15, 2010

you know that dream where you're naked in front of everyone...?

That's how I'm feeling.
This whole Project Clutter has left me feeling incredibly vulnerable and exposed and raw. And, I don't wear it well.
Decisions...choices...reactions...actions...all made by True Reese...but the aftermath of feelings and reactions to those decisions/choices/reactions/actions are taken over by Vulnerable Reese. I'm a bit of a mess. I'm cluttered.
*Sigh*
I'll push forward, because that's what I have to do; it's what I intend to do.
Let's hope everything else aligns and becomes decluttered as well...

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Creative Writing In-Class Assignment 02.11.10 - the Academy

For in-class writings, we have 12-15 minutes to complete a writing assignment.
02.11.10 - We were asked to write using this prompt: I'd like to thank the Academy...

I...woo!...this...I...it...woo!...you...

Woo! I'd like to thank the Academy for this prestigious honor. Who knew a story with no ending would lead to such high praise and recognition from my peers in Hollywood?

I...this...I...

I *must* thank Miss Pamelas and the group of ladies in her Creative Writing class. I...woo!...In class, I was notorious for finishing stories without endings. I was not a closer. I'd let stories trail off or end abruptly after rambling sentences. I couldn't close.

But YOU, Hollywood...woo! You embraced my style! And my movies with no ending have become the biggest franchise since Harry Potter! After my "It Was a Good Day" script was publicly trashed by the media, I had the guts to write with no ending! And I've revolutionized movies! My movies put butts in theater seats! And money in your pockets!

So, I take back that 'thank you.' And let me say this ~ You're welcome, Academy! You are welcome!

Friday, February 12, 2010

KUROSAWA CHAMPAGNE

THE KUROSAWA CHAMPAGNE
- Derrick Brown


This poem was built after watching Kurosawa’s Dreams and
The Lady from Shanghai by Orson Welles. It is infused with a time
I watched a lover have a nightmare and did not wake her.


Tonight
your body shook,
hurling your nightmares
back to Cambodia.

Your nightgown wisped off
into Ursula Minor.

I was left here on earth feeling alone,
paranoid about the Rapture.

Tonight
I think it is safe to say we drank too much.
Must I apologize for the volume in my slobber?
Must I apologize for the best dance moves ever?
No.

Booze is my tuition to clown college.

I swung at your purse.
It was staring at me.

We swerved home on black laughter.
bleeding from forgettable boxing.

I asked you to sleep in the shape of a trench
so that I might know shelter.

I drew the word surrender in the mist of your breath,
waving a white sheet around your body.

‘Dear, in the morning let me put on your make-up for you.
I’ll be loading your gems with mascara
then I’ll tell you the truth…’

I watched black ropes and tears ramble down your face.

Lady war paint.

A squad of tiny men rappels down those snaking lines
and you say;
“Thank you for releasing all those fuckers from my life.”

You have a daily pill case.
There are no pills inside.
It holds the ashes of people who died

…the moment they saw you.

The cinema we built was to play the greats
but we could never afford the power
so in the dark cinema
you painted pictures of Kurosawa.

I just stared at you like Orson Welles,
getting fat off your style.

You are a movie that keeps exploding.
You are Dante’s fireplace.

We were so broke,
I’d pour tap water into your mouth,
burp against your lips
so you could have champagne.

You love champagne.

Sparring in the candlelight.

Listen—
the mathematical equivalent of a woman’s beauty
is directly relational
to the amount or degree
other women hate her.

You, dear, are hated.

Your boots are a soundtrack to adultery.
Thank God your feet fall in the rhythm of loyalty.

If this kills me,
slice me julienne
uncurl my veins
and fashion yourself a noose
so I can hold you
once more.