random sad thoughts and questions today

Special work presentation today of all the movies slated to be released this year. One of the trailers we watched was for Cloud Atlas. It looks beautiful and intriguing and confusing and trippy. And, a particular scene had tears welling in my eyes.

Not because it was sad or particularly emotional...Halle Berry was reading someone else's letters, reading someone else's story - very 'killing me softly'...and as I watched, I wondered who will tell my story? Who will speak of me? Who will share my stories? Who will I share my stories with? This made me incredibly sad and pained.

I thought about Father's Day, all of us sitting at my sister's house that afternoon. My dad asked us to share our memories of him. So, we did. My sister told some of her favorite Dad stories - busting her when she was on phone restriction; the one with all the report cards under the mattress; the one where she lost me in Sears. Then, my nephew chimed in with 'Mom, tell the one about your watch!' We all laughed - my niece and nephew have heard all of these stories over and over and over again. Enough to obviously have a favorite one to hear.

Who will tell my espadrille story? Who will remember the songs from the pageants? Who will know that Grandma made lemon meringue pie without meringue for my birthday every year? Who will I tell? Who will tell for me?

Nothin' But a Good Time!

I've worked in the entertainment industry for over ten years. I'm lucky to work at one of the most recognizable studios in the world. And, I'm lucky not to be jaded - walking on the lot still makes me giddy. 

In these ten years, I've had the chance to experience some incredible things - TV show tapings, an intimate tour of shooting locations for Blade Runner with Ridley Scott, even a movie premiere. But, last Friday night was THE MOST INCREDIBLE EXPERIENCE EVER!

A few weeks ago, I sent an email offering to work the Rock of Ages premiere. Honestly, I didn't expect a response. Secretly, you know I wanted one.

So, I waited. Patiently. (Hey - I'm a Taurus, we're patient people.)

And, I was rewarded. My name was on the staff list for the premiere and after party WITH POISON AND DEF LEPPARD. OMG OMG OMG OMG! Talk about giddy - was I ever! I had two assignments for the night - inside and outside. AND - we were to dress in 80s attire! Aww yeah! I mean, really. It's Rock of Ages! THE epitome of 80s rock - big hair, acid wash, neon jewelry and blue eye shadow. COME ON! 

I only had a week to come up with an outfit. Finally, I narrowed all my possibilities down to 2 options. All the while, I'm fretting about the night because it would be my first premiere - what could I expect? What would be expected of me? What do I do? What does all this mean?! Thank God for Liz and Karen! Both assured me, reassured me and answered all of my silly questions. Beyond that, both were excited by how giddy and excited I was to attend. And, they helped with my outfit.

Fast forward to premiere day - a lot of Aqua Net and a lot of blue eye shadow. Ai yi yi! I wore my English Beat Special Beat Service t-shirt, black lace mini skirt, tights and black motorcycle boots. My hair was slicked back on one side, the other side hanging down over my eye. I wore a gorgeous orange/red eye shadow with blue eye liner that extended out to my hairline. Oh yeah. I rocked that look on one eye. I also wore one earring. Dude, I was kinda rad.

Inside the theater, I was nervous. David walked me around, showed me the sections and tried to calm me down. Once the soundtrack started, I was totally fine - I just sang, rocked it out. It was fun and we all were there for a good time, so I had one.

I think it's awesome to see movie stars. On only two occasions have I been the "loud obnoxious give me your attention" girl - the time I saw the Ocean's 11 cast playing shirts versus skins basketball (::thud::) and when I saw Ryan Gosling last week (::thud:: #2). Other than that, I'm "Hey, look" and the end.

But...put me with musicians? Oh, my. It's a different story! This theater was filled with 'em. I wanted to tell Lita Ford how she inspired me to be courageous. I wanted to explain to Kevin Cronin exactly what I felt when I drove over the Golden Gate Bridge for the first time with Roll With the Changes blaring. I wanted to yell at Debbie Gibson for throwing away the roses my friend gave to her. Segments of my life were represented in that room. I wanted to address each one. I wanted to thank or yell or hug and relive each one.

At the after party, I handled a table - making sure the guests had what they needed. I was pretty damn close to the stage. I was pretty damn close to tears. When Poison came out, all I could do was dance. So, I danced away from the table. The band ran through six classic songs - so much fun! I love it when I know all the words :)

Then, Riki Rachtman came onstage. My 15 year-old self started to shriek and yell - It was starting...

WE CAN'T STAND WAY BACK HERE! MOVE MOVE MOVE!

OK OK OK! We will. We will.

Gunter glieben glauchen globen

ALRIGHT!

My teenaged self took over at that precise moment. And, we moved right on down, in front of Vivian Campbell and Rick Savage, to the side of Joe Elliott. ::swoon:: 

Def Leppard ran through six songs ~ Rock of Ages, Hysteria, Foolin', Bringin' on the Heartbreak, Armageddon It and, of course, Pour Some Sugar On Me. Holy crap! I danced and screamed and sang and screamed and enjoyed the whole thing! It was amazing. They were so incredible! I am trying to find adequate words...I can't.

I tried to hold onto the night...did the best I could...but it ended. I know other premieres and after parties won't be like this one. That's okay. I am so ridiculously grateful to have been there, done that.

Hostess Lemon Pie

Last week, as I stood in line at a corner store, the Hostess treats stand caught my eye. Twinkies, HoHo's, Suzy Q's, SnoBalls, Zingers (the raspberry ones with coconut!), Ding Dongs, Hostess Cupcakes with the swirly design and powdered donuts had me smiling and drooling. I stopped when my gaze landed on first row of the stand. That's where the Hostess Pies were lined. Without hesitation, I grabbed a lemon pie.

Hostess Lemon pies remind me of field trips and Mt. View Elementary School. The night before a field trip, Mom would take me to Ray's Market to pick out treats for lunch. I always chose the same things - Funyuns and Hostess Lemon pies. In the morning, we would make my lunch. I would pack my lunch bag while Mom wrapped a frozen soda in aluminum foil.

By the time our lunch break rolled around, the soda would be slushy and cold - truly a favorite part of my field trip lunches.

I sat in my car, holding that lemon pie, smiling. I hadn't had one of these things since I was a kid! Quite silly how excited I was to eat this. I broke off the corner, popped it in my mouth. I didn't taste the lightly frosted crust. I didn't even taste the tangy lemon filling. I was too busy savoring memories...

Long bus rides, singing "99 Bottles of Beer" and stopping before we were out of the 80s, enthusiastically pumping arms in hopes one of the truck drivers on the road would sound his air horn, cheering wildly when a trucker obliged. I know one trip was to see the King Tut exhibit when it hit Los Angeles in the 70s. I could not tell you one thing about that collection. What I can tell you is how fun it was rolling down the grassy hill of the George Page museum. I do remember holding onto my glasses for dear life because I couldn't imagine trying to explain to my Dad how they broke! I do remember shrieking and laughing - that pure and joyful sound that escapes when, in that moment, all you know is glee and fun. Oh, how I giggled! The sheer delight of dizziness and nausea as I lay at the bottom of the hill. The uncomfortable I'm-covered-in-grass itchy feeling during the long bus ride back to school was easily tolerated because there was so much fun behind it all!

All that from a Hostess Lemon Pie.