Monday, December 28, 2009

I'm a Midnight Rambler, baby

I wish I could write.

Sit down, pen to paper (fingers to keyboard, as the case may be), sans prompt and just write.

Write something witty and warm; something biting and sarcastic; something open and real and insightful. Yeah. But I can't. Honestly, I am amazed I made it through three Pamela sessions!

I often sit - like I am now - desperately wanting to write. Somehow, random words or snippets or scenes come to me and I think I could write something with this or about that. Then, I stop to analyze - where did that come from? Where can I take this? Has this been written about before?
This is not my beautiful house! Where does this highway go to? Am I right, am I wrong? And I say to myself: My God, what have I done?!

So, I stop. I analyze. I talk myself right out of writing. What is that?! Why is that?!

One hurdle is that I have trouble closing or ending a story. I have pretty good openings. My middles are sometimes muddled and rambling.

Hmm...maybe I should just write openings. That's it! I'll write essay openings and story beginnings, turn a clever phrase or two then let someone else finish what I've started. Yeah, that's the ticket!

My class assignment? To collect those snippets and scenes. Your class assignment? Complete them.


Writing isn't that hard at all.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Party dress - new year's eve

Consider this if you will:
I certainly am! The ultra-sexy Evalyn dress from b&lu plus-size fashion site. Purrr! $56 minus 25% ~ it's a steal.

Wear with peep-toe stilettos or over-the-knee boots. I'm thinking a chunky boot to throw a curve at ya :)

I have arm issues; I'll have to figure out the bra situation...whatever! I need to rock this on New Year's Eve!

Tuesday, December 01, 2009


I had beef-flavored Cup o'Noodles for lunch today. Sometimes, you just gotta have ramen, y'know? Sitting in my office, I remembered when there was a time if I never saw ramen noodles again, that would be too soon.

In 1993, I was engaged to a not-so-nice guy. While both of us worked, we never seemed to have enough money to cover things other than rent (read: food). There was always enough for his beer; not enough for a jar of peanut butter or loaf of bread. He stocked up on top ramen noodles, Kraft Macaroni & Cheese and cans of tuna. Yes, this is what we lived on for most of the last year we were together.

He would say: Starvation is the mother of invention then prepare some concoction using 2 out of the 3 items above plus whatever condiment packets were around. I got so sick of ramen noodles and Kraft M&C! I swore never to eat that crap again. Even if I only had one dollar left in my pocket, ramen noodles would never pass these lips!

Yeah, well...the best laid plans...

At least now the choice is mine to make.

Riley - 2 Weeks

It's been 2 weeks without Riley. A very rough and tough 2 weeks.

Riley & I moved into this apartment together; this is the first time I've been alone here. Yeah, I expect him to be belly-up at the door when I walk in. Or, his face in the window, meowing when coming home late. I really miss him at night - cold nights in particular because he'd curl up on my feet and I'd be warm.

Had a chuckle last night while reading a magazine. Any time I'd read a book or magazine, Riley would jump onto the bed and stretch across the pages as if to say "If you've got time to read that, you've got time to pay attention to me!" I had a pic on my previous cell phone of Riley's paws wrapped around my Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince book. Too funny looking at that.

Most of his stuff has been cleared out ~ bowls, scratching posts, treats, meds, food, litter. Was caught off-guard when the bathroom door swung all the way back to the wall. Forgot it went that far without a litter box! I did keep a couple of things: his kitty bed, the feather & mouse toy on a stick and a ball of yarn he was unraveling. Sitting at the computer right now, his bed under my feet, I half expect him to start biting my toes...

Almost everyone has asked if I'll get another cat. Right now, my answer is NO. No! No! No! I couldn't go through that again. Told my friend Sarah that I would rather have stuffed animals; have no problem being known as the crazy old stuffed animal lady.

The decision to put him down was the right one. I know it. Doesn't make it easier.