Nothin' But a Good Time!

I've worked in the entertainment industry for over ten years. I'm lucky to work at one of the most recognizable studios in the world. And, I'm lucky not to be jaded - walking on the lot still makes me giddy. 

In these ten years, I've had the chance to experience some incredible things - TV show tapings, an intimate tour of shooting locations for Blade Runner with Ridley Scott, even a movie premiere. But, last Friday night was THE MOST INCREDIBLE EXPERIENCE EVER!

A few weeks ago, I sent an email offering to work the Rock of Ages premiere. Honestly, I didn't expect a response. Secretly, you know I wanted one.

So, I waited. Patiently. (Hey - I'm a Taurus, we're patient people.)

And, I was rewarded. My name was on the staff list for the premiere and after party WITH POISON AND DEF LEPPARD. OMG OMG OMG OMG! Talk about giddy - was I ever! I had two assignments for the night - inside and outside. AND - we were to dress in 80s attire! Aww yeah! I mean, really. It's Rock of Ages! THE epitome of 80s rock - big hair, acid wash, neon jewelry and blue eye shadow. COME ON! 

I only had a week to come up with an outfit. Finally, I narrowed all my possibilities down to 2 options. All the while, I'm fretting about the night because it would be my first premiere - what could I expect? What would be expected of me? What do I do? What does all this mean?! Thank God for Liz and Karen! Both assured me, reassured me and answered all of my silly questions. Beyond that, both were excited by how giddy and excited I was to attend. And, they helped with my outfit.

Fast forward to premiere day - a lot of Aqua Net and a lot of blue eye shadow. Ai yi yi! I wore my English Beat Special Beat Service t-shirt, black lace mini skirt, tights and black motorcycle boots. My hair was slicked back on one side, the other side hanging down over my eye. I wore a gorgeous orange/red eye shadow with blue eye liner that extended out to my hairline. Oh yeah. I rocked that look on one eye. I also wore one earring. Dude, I was kinda rad.

Inside the theater, I was nervous. David walked me around, showed me the sections and tried to calm me down. Once the soundtrack started, I was totally fine - I just sang, rocked it out. It was fun and we all were there for a good time, so I had one.

I think it's awesome to see movie stars. On only two occasions have I been the "loud obnoxious give me your attention" girl - the time I saw the Ocean's 11 cast playing shirts versus skins basketball (::thud::) and when I saw Ryan Gosling last week (::thud:: #2). Other than that, I'm "Hey, look" and the end.

But...put me with musicians? Oh, my. It's a different story! This theater was filled with 'em. I wanted to tell Lita Ford how she inspired me to be courageous. I wanted to explain to Kevin Cronin exactly what I felt when I drove over the Golden Gate Bridge for the first time with Roll With the Changes blaring. I wanted to yell at Debbie Gibson for throwing away the roses my friend gave to her. Segments of my life were represented in that room. I wanted to address each one. I wanted to thank or yell or hug and relive each one.

At the after party, I handled a table - making sure the guests had what they needed. I was pretty damn close to the stage. I was pretty damn close to tears. When Poison came out, all I could do was dance. So, I danced away from the table. The band ran through six classic songs - so much fun! I love it when I know all the words :)

Then, Riki Rachtman came onstage. My 15 year-old self started to shriek and yell - It was starting...

WE CAN'T STAND WAY BACK HERE! MOVE MOVE MOVE!

OK OK OK! We will. We will.

Gunter glieben glauchen globen

ALRIGHT!

My teenaged self took over at that precise moment. And, we moved right on down, in front of Vivian Campbell and Rick Savage, to the side of Joe Elliott. ::swoon:: 

Def Leppard ran through six songs ~ Rock of Ages, Hysteria, Foolin', Bringin' on the Heartbreak, Armageddon It and, of course, Pour Some Sugar On Me. Holy crap! I danced and screamed and sang and screamed and enjoyed the whole thing! It was amazing. They were so incredible! I am trying to find adequate words...I can't.

I tried to hold onto the night...did the best I could...but it ended. I know other premieres and after parties won't be like this one. That's okay. I am so ridiculously grateful to have been there, done that.

August and everything

Yesterday, I was blue. Leaving Napa, driving home while the others stretched their journey one more night, was incredibly heavy. There was definite sadness knowing I had short-changed myself. How shortsighted I was to think missing the last show of the tour wouldn't matter! For that, I am sad.

Yet on the drive home, I was anything but sad. All of the memories tripped over each other, fighting to tumble out first and wrap me up in happy. I laughed out loud. I sang even louder. I smiled at the little things, fully appreciating them - a joke, a comment, a move, a song, a look. These feelings, this collection of bits and pieces of sights and sounds, will keep me wrapped up in happy for a long, long time.

So, imagine me going back to work today. Yeah. Good times. I was there, I was in it...I was working. And all the good of the past two weeks slowly chip chip chipped away. I was losing the Me of the past two weeks to other people. WTF?! What's up with *that*?! The Me of the past two weeks was IS Me. It's the true Me. It's the Me I allowed myself to become. And, I needed to get that back.

I sat there, door closed, music on, phone ringing. And, once again, let those memories trip over each other, let them fight to tumble out first and wrap me in happy. THAT'S the feeling I need to remember ('member? You 'member!). I kept it, sometimes fighting to keep it, and carried on. It's a slow process, this vacation transition

Writing did not take a backseat during vacation. On my day off at home, I wrote 3 short stories. Three! I know! I tossed one, edited the other and one is just sitting there. I blogged. I journaled. I wrote a lot. The Flash Fiction contest starts in a couple of weeks. Prepare...looking forward to the challenge - one story, one thousand words. EEK!

I did something bold today. Something out of character. And, it paid off. Just one more thing to tuck away...until it tumbles out to wrap me in happy.

Using this feeling to shove me forward when it comes to my living situation. This is possible. I have always been able to see the end, how it's supposed to be. I know how it's supposed to feel...I KNOW it, I can feel it. It's not the same feeling of hopeless under a mask of so-called hope I've spoke of in the past. I see all of this stuff in a completely different light. My life inside and outside these four walls will soon be on the same level.

Going to channel this restlessness toward something good, something new, something improved. Not quite sure why...but August - and everything - is going to be most excellent.

(This rambling writing style is just not me. It just seems unfulfilling and incomplete. But, it's something I told myself to try - just write, put it down, get it out. And I have. It's just not for me.)

NaBloPoMo 7.16

I couldn't flee the office fast enough.

It's been a hellacious few weeks. I am stressing. I am frustrated. And it shows. We lost an employee recently so her work was divided between me and our manager. Several times I've wanted to yell at employees - hey, gimme a break, will ya?! I walked around muttering "I hate people." Yeah, not so good for some who works in Human Resources. Oh well, 'human' is in the title for a reason.

On top of all that, new job responsibilities are being transitioned to me. It is quite exciting! I love that my boss and my team are giving me more exposure to the HR world. I'll be doing more project-based, deadline-driven work; employee relations & compensation stuff; and moving me back into a recruitment role - internships, more than likely. I am ready to take on this challenge. I need the change, this challenge, to shake me up.

Interrupting all programs...

So, there I was...sitting in my office, listening as my VP told stories of her trip to Cabo the weekend before...when I noticed pressure and a stabbing pain on the left side of my chest. There was no pain in my arm, no irregular breathing, sweating, nausea. Nothing. Just this pressure, this heaviness and stabbing pain. It was 9:30 a.m.

When hunched over my keyboard, the pain & pressure weren't as stabbing or heavy; so I sat like that. Until 11 o'clock.

That's when I had this tremendous explosion of pain on the left side of my head, behind my eye. Nothing happened to my vision; just pain in my head. And pain in my chest. Still.

I call Kaiser...talk to the advice nurse...and end up in the ER before noon.

All of the test results were good ~ blood pressure, blood test, x-ray, EKG. I left there 4 hours later with the pain unexplained. The doctor said the chest pains were likely due to stress and/or anxiety. "Do you have any stress in your life or at your job?" You're kidding me, right? *Sigh*

Anyway...I was sent home with instructions to 'rest and avoid stress.' You're kidding me, right?

I'm feeling mostly okay today, just a bit of discomfort.

Time off from work has been discussed with my boss; the dates TBD.

And how was YOUR Monday?

I'm still here. For now.

Mayhem.

That's the best way to describe it: mayhem.

Layoffs. Crying. Worrying. Yelling. Working. Overtime. Craziness. Not sleeping. Stressing. Eating. Not sleeping. Drinking. No blogging.

I'm still standing. Check back in a couple of days. And have the St. Bernard's on stand-by.

xo

Mentoring 2008

When I quit my job as a sign language interpreter/teacher in 2000, I was relieved. I couldn't wait to get a real job with real adults (not the counting-the-moments-until-retirement teachers) and have real conversations about things other than 'Who do you like better: NSYNC or Backstreet Boys?'

So, there I went...off into the real world. And as I went through my day, I felt something missing. Real adults? Check! Real conversations? Check! Took me two years of temp jobs to figure it out - the kids. I miss the kids!

I had been at The Company for a couple of months as the Corporate Receptionist when a group of high schoolers came through with swag from the set of FRIENDS ~ shirts, pencils, mugs, pictures. So, I asked a) where did you get that stuff and b) where did you come from to get that stuff? Turned out the kids were part of The Company's inaugural Mentoring Program. The kids were from A Place Called Home who, in association with Youth Mentoring Connection, partnered with The Company. I would see these kids every couple of weeks, listen to them talk about the program and their mentors; I would see some of the mentors everyday, listen to them talk about the program and their kids (mentees). I wanted to be part of it!

When I had moved into a role within The Company which would allow me the flexibility to participate, I signed up for the Mentoring Program. I was a mentor to Erick for two years; then a mentor to Marqietta for two years. Last year I took a break. In August, I signed up again.

Two weeks ago, all of the mentors and the kids got together for food, games and bowling at Jillian's. The casual environment allows all to feel comfortable mixing and mingling, trying to find out what's what. Such a thrill to see so many kids participating (almost 50)! There were several kids who had been in the program for a few years - and I loved seeing and reconnecting with them. The point of the evening? For the kids to find an adult he/she connects with and vice versa. I was able to meet all of the kids, made connections with most and asked the program directors about one kid in particular. At the end of the evening, everyone gets a sheet of paper and is asked to list the 3 people he/she has made a connection with. No guarantees! Just your preferences. I skipped #1 and #2. On line #3 I wrote - "Boy or girl. You know me. Pair me with the person who will get the most from and give the most to me."



On Tuesday, we found out our mentor/mentee pairings for the year:

Introducing ~ Rissa & Gerica!

Isn't she adorable?! I'm super excited about mentoring and can't wait to get to know my new friend!