I snapped this pic somewhere between London and Los Angeles, I was restless, having trouble sleeping. I slid the window shade up and saw this. It was clear and bright - and I didn't even have my glasses on! There's so much out there to see, experience, live. And I'm going to find it.
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
Saturday, February 15, 2014
I've been mourning the loss of a friendship this week. I feel incredibly sad and truly feel the loss in my soul.
Since the spring, communication slowed then ceased. I called, emailed, texted and all efforts were met with silence. I chalked it up to busy-ness, although in my heart of heart, I'm sure I knew our friendship was over.
In the fall, I endured a very tragic, personal crisis. This was the first friend I called. Silence had never hurt so much. With all the pain, I had to compartmentalize and the friendship was tucked away.
In recent months, I allowed my thoughts to wander to cutting ties. Out of anger, I stopped following on twitter and instagram. Petty, I know. Facebook was the last frontier, so to speak. To me, unfriending on FB is the ultimate 'eff you', the end all. While on FB last week, I discovered I'd been unfriended. Body blow! I cried behind the closed door of my office. I didn't think it was coming to THAT kind of end. Well, I hoped it wouldn't.
I've been mourning and questioning and wondering what the heck happened. I've been reading quotes on friendship. And, encountered a list of "things you should let go this year" posted on some site. One bullet point was 'toxic people.'
Wait. Am I that friend's toxic person? Holy crap! That's hard to hear. I am someone else's toxic person, the person that adds no benefit to another's life, the person that brings another down. Wow. That's harsh. How does one deal with that?