NaBloPoMo 11.18 - Rant: Carpool Lane

I fell into the middle of a conversation between two co-workers about riding in the carpool lane. She was raving about how great it is to speed along the 134 in the morning and at night - "Everyone else is stopped and I cruise right on by!" I asked if she carpools with her husband or with people from work. "No! It's me and the kids!" I shook my head. My other co-worker asked why I was shaking my head. I told him I think carpool lanes should be for 2 or more licensed drivers. "Carpool lanes are for two or more people! Me plus my kids. Yay!" I was a driving school instructor for four years, I'm well aware of the law. I just disagree with it.

The carpool lanes are designed to lessen traffic. If Soccer Mom zooms by with a van-full of kids, how does that help alleviate LA's gridlock? The kids are not licensed drivers. My co-worker says sometimes she sends the nanny to pick-up the kids, so that helps. Huh? How does that help - you just put another driver on the road. There was no real debate, just me stating my position and my co-working chanting "Well, the law says 2 or more...the law says 2 or more..." So, I fell out of the conversation just as quickly as I fell into it since my mindset wasn't too popular.

What are you thoughts about the carpool lane? Should pregnant women be allowed to use the carpool lane?

NaBloPoMo 11.17 - Remembering Riley

It was late in the day when I realized it had been two years since I'd lost my Riley. The following two weeks were so tough for me. Hell, it was tough for months. There were several days I couldn't bear to go up to my empty apartment so I slept down in the carport in my car. When Riley's ashes were delivered, I sat on the floor, stroking the velvet box, crying.

Slowly, I got used to him being gone. I knew his face wouldn't be in the window as I walked up the stairs, but I looked anyway. I stopped checking the cat food aisle for his favorite 'treatsies' or new toys. Tossing out his cat bed was so difficult; it was so final. Every once in a while, I expect him to jump on the bed and curl up in the crook of my knee. I miss that a lot. I miss him a lot.

Every single day I consider getting another cat. Every single day I tell myself "Not yet." My sister had found a little chihuahua up for adoption and called me immediately. She text me pics of the adorable little guy. I had to say no, it was too soon. Will I ever get another kitty? I don't know.

Now, I'm smiling...thinking of the fun and laughs and silliness. One day, Riley got his head stuck in a plastic grocery bag and couldn't get out of it. He looked like a superhero running around the apartment with this 'cape' trailing behind. My friend Z shared a great story - she had 'Kitty Camp' while I was on vacation. She said Riley and her 2 cats, Cheebs & Petey, had daily steeplechase races around her house ~ over chairs, around tables, under beds and sofas. They would stop, briefly, each looking at the other...then they'd be off again! Z said that was some of the most fun she had watching those characters. She had no idea where the energy came from nor how they could sustain it. Good times with good friends :)

Riley, little guy...Mama misses you.

NaBloPoMo 11.16 - 25 Ways to Wear a Scarf in 4.5 Minutes

This is absolutely fabulous! I've already noted my favorites (the Bunny Ear, Double Rainbow, the Braid, the Magic Knot) and plan to try them out this fall/winter season.

BTW ~ I want that McQueen skull scarf!

Which ones strike your scarf fancy?

NaBloPoMo 11.15 - Mentoring 11/12

Saturday's 1-on-1 mentoring session was fun! Neither one of us can make a decision to save our lives, so we sat in my car for several minutes, giggling. With no lightbulbs going off, I asked her to show me where she goes to school. As we drove through the parking lot, she gave me the run-down of her day - where her classes are, how far those classrooms are from her locker, how having Zero Period PE is great because you put your gym clothes over your street clothes and you get to toss a ball against the wall ("That's what you do for PE?!" "Yeah! Sometimes I walk." Good grief!). She likes the school and is bummed she missed her first dance.

Waiting for the light to turn, I asked if there was a mall around or a Chuck E. Cheese or something. She tells me there's a place called Power Station that has games and videos and stuff. Sounds cool as she describes a game akin to the Claw thing but it uses a key and the prizes are iPods, iPhones and iPads! Sweet! Then, she says they have Skee Ball. Aww yeah! I am in! Skee Ball is my absolute favorite, I tell her. I'd spend all my quarters on it. She laughed - 'they don't use quarters'. Pfft! Whatever they use, all of 'em are being used on Skee Ball. Until I saw Dance Dance Revolution. Holla! I love me some DDR. I suck at it, but I still love it.

We spent some time playing Skee Ball, DDR, Deal or No Deal and a couple of games that give you tickets for spinning wheels. We collected over 1,200 points (11,000 shy of the Easy Bake Oven I really wanted. And, in her infinite wisdom, she asks me "Don't you have a real oven in your house?" Pfft. Not. The. Point.). I'm pretty sure we spent more time hemming and hawing over the prizes than we did playing the games to get the points. We got Friendship Bracelets, birthstone rings, pencils and more Tootsie Rolls than I've ever collected trick or treating. What a great time.

Then, we headed to the food court for lunch. Now, let me rewind to a couple of weeks ago...we're in a group session, playing Pictionary and eating pizza. She answers her sister's question with "No, I'm fat." My head whipped around so fast! I was stunned. She's thin as a rail and those words coming from her were so surprising. And, it made me sad. When I dropped her off at home, I told her we are going to talk about her statement. I really wasn't sure how to handle that. I'm not her mom. I'm her friend. Her friend that has her own body image struggles. The only thing I could do would be to start a conversation, a dialogue and hope my message gets across.

So, back to lunch at Panda Express in the food court. I asked if she remembered her comment and my reaction - "Yeah, you were MAD!" I told her the comment made me mad. I couldn't believe she thought she was fat. I was honest - the comment made me mad because she boiled everything she is down to one thing - being fat. I told her she is so much more than that! She's smart and a good friend and a good sister and she's helpful and friendly. I gave her examples of each trait I listed. I told her of my own issues with body image. She told me I was beautiful and nice and she liked that I showed up for mentoring. That was the sweetest moment ever. I stressed how the comment made me angry, not her. She said she understood; and I truly hope she does.

We'll have a group session on Saturday and I'll follow-up with her. I'm so glad we were able to talk about body image and what we think of ourselves. And each other.

NaBloPoMo 11.14 - 3 Wishes

1 ~ I wish for discipline.

Setting aside time to write is not easy. And I don't even have kids! I need to be able to sit and write without feeling guilty. Once I do sit down to write, my thoughts scamper to all things undone - laundry, house clearing, dishes, whatever. You should really get that done first, then write. What if I don't feel like doing the dishes? I typically won't do 'em; but I won't write either. I'm weird. I know. And, geez, let's not even talk about Something Shiny Syndrome. Those little things that distract me ~ Twitter, G+, Words with Friends, BlogHer, etc. What if I'm missing something? What if John Taylor tweets he's broken down in the Valley and needs a lift? What if the 37th retweet wins an awesome meet n greet with Nikki Sixx or Kurt Sutter or Donna Brazile or Matthew Perry or even Matthew Lewis?! I could miss it!

2 ~ I wish to be open.

Open to love, specifically. I believe myself to be. Somehow, though, I'm wrong. And, that's distressing enough as it is.

3 ~ I wish to believe.

Believe in myself. I am confident, but I don't believe in myself much. I recently found myself in a group which included one of my most favorite people on the planet. This person is intuitive and forthright and brilliant and funny and an immense pleasure to be around. As talk turned to politics and such, I walked away from the discussion because I didn't think I was smart enough to understand the conversation. I denied myself the joy of people and lively debate because I did not believe myself to be able to contribute to a conversation. How sad for me.

NaBloPoMo 11.13 - Melissa McCarthy and her Spanx!

THIS is *hilarious*! OMG! Melissa is a brilliant storyteller :)

Melissa McCarthy and Her Spanx - The Ellen DeGeneres Show

NaBloPoMo 11.12 - 11/12

He was born in 1933 to Hugo and Sarah, the fourth of their 5 children. They lived at 1644 in Baltimore MD. He was a very smart kid, excelled in school; he loved music, especially jazz. He had this knack for playing piano without formal training - he'd hear a song, then play it. He looked up to his older brother and stuck close to his side. His close friends were a boisterous group who took care of him. He graduated high school at 16. He entered medical school. After a year, he left medical school. After he married, he attended Howard University School of Law. Once he graduated, he moved his wife and daughter to California. The young family bought a house in the city of Riverside for about $38,000. He raised 2 more kids in that house and has welcomed six grandchildren to the house. He is smart and funny and a loud-talker. That one year of medical school makes him a dangerous patient. He took me to my first musical theater show. He is stubborn and makes it tough to say 'no', but he welcomes a healthy debate. He plays tennis every single day. He loves trains, white zinfandel and UCLA. He is my Dad and today is his birthday :)

Happy Birthday, Dad!

Also celebrating a birthday today is my cousin, Donna and my niece, Meen

NaBloPoMo 11.11 - The One Where I Have Nothing To Say

I am...

sad

angry

grateful

scared

inspired

disappointed

overwhelmed

lost

hopeful

I've been writing this post all day. And by writing, I mean type-type-type-delete. I just can't seem to delve into one. I'm not really allowing myself to do so, let's be honest.

Today's post is done.

#itssomething

#couldatriedharder

#dontjudge (ha - that's quite telling) #howmanymoredaysofthis

#thanksforstoppingby

#dontgiveuponme

#iwilldobetternexttime

#ipromise

NaBloPoMo 11.10 - Girl Panic!

FINALLY!

Duran Duran shot a video for their song Girl Panic! in June at the Savoy Hotel in London. There's been so much talk on Twitter ~ every fan thinking she's so clever using the title to describe how they're feeling about the debut of the video.

The video premiered last night to a select few at the Harper's Bazaar event. And, this morning, it was made available to the fans!

Without further ado, please enjoy the musical stylings of the 5 Supers and Duran Duran!

note: the 4 Durans look absolutely gorgeous. I mean stunning. Be still my heart.

NaBloPoMo 11.9 - RIP Heavy D

just learned that Heavy D died today (11/8)...this scares the shit out of me.

He was 44.

I am 44.

He was overweight.

I am overweight.

This is fucking scary. And it's one of my greatest fears - to die in my sleep, unexpectedly. This is why I'm an insomniac. I don't want to go to sleep. When I was taken to the ER last year with chest pains, I set my alarm to go off every 45 minutes to ensure I'd get up...I know it doesn't work like that. It helped me at the time. But I know it's just not how it works.

Heavy D had lost a lot of weight. I don't know how he did it; just know that he did slim down a lot. According to news reports of his death, he had apparently/allegedly gained back 'some' weight. Did he have a stroke? Did he have high blood pressure? Did he lose weight too fast? Did he regain too much weight? Could his heart not take it? My mind is spinning and imagining all sorts of ridiculousness. This is fucking scary! If this isn't motivation to get my fat ass off the sidelines and join the game, then I am already dead.

I'm a fucking mess.