1 ~ I wish for discipline.
Setting aside time to write is not easy. And I don't even have kids! I need to be able to sit and write without feeling guilty. Once I do sit down to write, my thoughts scamper to all things undone - laundry, house clearing, dishes, whatever. You should really get that done first, then write. What if I don't feel like doing the dishes? I typically won't do 'em; but I won't write either. I'm weird. I know. And, geez, let's not even talk about Something Shiny Syndrome. Those little things that distract me ~ Twitter, G+, Words with Friends, BlogHer, etc. What if I'm missing something? What if John Taylor tweets he's broken down in the Valley and needs a lift? What if the 37th retweet wins an awesome meet n greet with Nikki Sixx or Kurt Sutter or Donna Brazile or Matthew Perry or even Matthew Lewis?! I could miss it!
2 ~ I wish to be open.
Open to love, specifically. I believe myself to be. Somehow, though, I'm wrong. And, that's distressing enough as it is.
3 ~ I wish to believe.
Believe in myself. I am confident, but I don't believe in myself much. I recently found myself in a group which included one of my most favorite people on the planet. This person is intuitive and forthright and brilliant and funny and an immense pleasure to be around. As talk turned to politics and such, I walked away from the discussion because I didn't think I was smart enough to understand the conversation. I denied myself the joy of people and lively debate because I did not believe myself to be able to contribute to a conversation. How sad for me.