Monday, October 29, 2007

no title seems to fit

Three weeks ago today, I got a puzzling email. It was a highly critical email of me, my friends and our friendship sent from another friend. This touched off a flurry of responding emails, replies to responses, sidebar emails to individuals and, in its wake, left 3 friends hurting.

I didn't respond immediately. I was a swirl of feelings, my head spinning and I can be mean & say hurtful things when like that. When I did finally reply, there was enough of a balance of me being emotional and me being rational in the email. Or so I thought.

This friend and his wife have now stopped communicating with me. And I am heartbroken. Now I'm left to deal with these emotions, face them, feel them and then release them without explanation or discussion with the friends. With no communication, I can only draw the conclusion that the friendship is over. I'm incredibly sad. Angry. Shocked. Surprised. And hurt more than I probably know. For the first few days, I wondered what I could possibly say to make things 'right'. As time passed with no communication except for a 'I need space' email, I wondered what THEY could possibly say to appease me. Saying nothing to me now, speaks volumes.

I get crap thrown at me, then called insensitive.


Lys said...

You know my opinion on that - if I was in LA right now, I'd be having a word with them telling them what an amazing person you are. Insensitive, my butt - you are the FURTHEST from insensitive

:::hugz::: we're here for you. And things will work out.

Reese said...

They both know the kind of person I am. They both know the kind of friend I've been, the kind of friend I am. Which makes this all the more puzzling, hurtful, etc.

Friends will come and go through their collective life; none of whom will be a friend like me.

Lys said...

Truly their loss, imo.

BTW - was shocked when I saw the update in the Bloglines :) I almost started clapping with joy - not that I don't love your MySpace but you know what I mean...