Sunday, May 18, 2008

...about Transformers cuz there's more than meets the eye

Hit Mexicali late last night for dinner and the obligatory margarita with the Princess. We were seated between two couples: to my left was a pretty girl, chatting away, while the slightly left-of-nerd guy with her stared adoringly; on my right was a pretty girl so obsessively fascinated with her black beans & rice to notice the super duper hot guy she was with happened to be texting and snickering (and wearing pajama bottoms) for a good ten minutes. Ahh, young love.

As I sat with my back to the restaurant, I couldn't see our waiter. (Well, he did stand directly behind me when taking our order...). Anyway, as the Princess orders a margarita, she gets all flippy and twirly. I have never seen her like this before! She's all wide-eyed, she's oddly smiley and she's blushing. This is happening right in front of me! I'm perplexed. And completely enthralled!

"He is so cute! I mean really cute." She squealed. "Should I ask him out?" I choke down my salsa covered chip.

"Sure. Why not?" Hey, above all else, I'm a friend.

"I've never done that before. Well, I did once. But I was 20 years old. Should I ask him out? What should I do? Do you think he's cute?" She's totally serious. And I'm thinking she should write on her napkin:

DO YOU LIKE ME? CHECK YES OR NO

"If you think he's cute and you want to ask him out, go for it!" Hey, above all else, I'm a friend. I wanted to tell her to wait until the couples on either side of us had left, or wait until we're ready to leave so she wouldn't be uncomfortable. But, by this time, her eyes had clouded over and her ears had shut - she had her eyes on the prize.

This is where it gets uncomfortable.

Waiter guy walks over. Princess is playing with her hair (dead serious).
"Umm...do...do you...uh...doyouhaveagirlfriend?" :::Rissa begins to squirm:::
"Me?" Duh. :::inhale:::
"Yeah. Do you...doyouhaveagirlfriend." :::squirm becomes a cringe:::
"No. No I don't." :::exhale:::
"Well, okay. Uh. Uh...well, you...well, you totally know what I'm going to ask you!" Princess is giggling. To my credit, I did not guffaw out loud.

The rest of that particular sequence is hazy because a) I became invisible as Waiter Guy stepped on my foot to get closer to the Princess and b) the DJ was spinning the Jets, so I focused there.

After that, our conversation was a lost cause. Princess kept scanning the room, looking for him; smiling and waving each time he passed by. I picked at my food, wondering if I should blatanly Twitter the event or be discreet.

The fourth or fifth time Waiter Guy came 'round he says: "Oh, by the way, my name is Paul. What's yours?" To my credit, I did not guffaw out loud.

As we're leaving, Paul calls to the Princess. I walk outside, madly Twittering. For the ride home, she's lamenting that she picked up on a 21 year old and how that makes her a Cougar. To my credit, I did not guffaw out loud.

2 comments:

thirtydaes said...

this is GREAT!!!!! wow you narrated and reproduced the scene perfectly. i was there, trying not to guffaw with you!!

homerun!!!!!

natasha said...

hahah..check out this hilarious transformers spoof i found the other day..best ive seen yet..definitely must watch!!!
http://effinfunny.com/best-of-theweb/soundwave%3A-retouched