Sunday, August 01, 2010

uh-oh...

looks like the beast that is Restlessness has been shaken and is currently stirring...just what I need. I can't go through this again. The wanting, the needing, the feeling, the knowing there's something else and/or something more for me beyond the four walls of my office. The uncertainty of what that something is or may be is what keeps me beating Restless back into submission again and again. I'm fearless a lot of the time. I'm fearful all of the time.

So many things are swirling right above my head, all within reach. I just can't decide what to pluck or what to shuck. I don't want to wait for everything to fall down on me, around me...

On another note...someone has returned to my life. It's peripheral, strictly words on a computer or cell phone screen. Talk about stirring. As much as I love the attention, this may very well be a huge mistake. Again.

On yet another note...longing to contact someone. I'm not sure how to do so, how to approach or if I should even bother. But this strange feeling, connection or chemistry or something is drawing me this way. Part of it is this whole caregiver thing I have...

Stopping.

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