Sunday, April 24, 2011


In six weeks, I've cleared out over 12 years' worth of clutter. That's a helluva lot of clutter, let me tell you!

I've gone through clothes - shoved in closets, hanging on racks,folded in baskets, tossed here, thrown there, stuffed in drawers and balled up in suitcases. I've gone through drawers and bags stuffed with papers, old mail, cards, junk mail, magazines, scraps of paper with at-one-time meaningful scribbles & notes, business cards and other puzzling items. I've been celebrating my accomplishment in space I didn't have 30 days ago.

Yesterday, I was panicked and stressed...feeling so overwhelmed. I started with a small stack, a very small task. From there, I was able to move onto a 4-drawer bureau and cleared it out. That was quite an undertaking as each drawer was packed full of crap. I did a lot yesterday. But still had some strange feeling.

It came to me late last night - loneliness. What I'm feeling is lonely.

I've stacked and accumulated for more than a dozen years. These things were my protection, my comfort. I loathed and loved it all. Now, most of it is gone...and I feel exposed. It's weird. I don't miss any of it; but I miss it all...the collective.

I'll work through this, too. This is all new to me.

1 comment:

Syi said...

Its good that you throw somethings away. Sorry that you're feeling lonely though, there isn't any ppl that you can just hang out with?