My head has been reeling and my heart aching at recent news regarding race and racism in our country. I'm sad and scared and outraged and really so stunned, cloudy with disbelief at things going on...these things in my head have kept me awake the past few nights.

The 14-year old boy in VA being told by his English teacher to read a Langston Hughes poem "blacker...c'mon, I thought you were black." Fire that teacher immediately. NEVER let her teach children again. EVER.

The murder of 17-year old Trayvon Martin in Florida by a Neighborhood Watch captain who claims self-defense and has not been arrested. The man had a gun and 100 pounds advantage. The kid had an Arizona ice tea and Skittles. This is so outrageous, the whole thing...I can't even, I don't know. I just get angrier with every story I read. Then, I heard the 911 tapes. Heartbreaking.

WHY do these things continue to happen? WHY are racist comments and actions easily accepted, without question? Why? These actions happen readily; comments roll easily.

I've always been sensitive to race issues. So much so that I rarely, if ever, speak of the effects. But I can't go one day without reading some news item with racial overtones. It makes me so sad...and hurts...and scares the heck outta me for my nephews. Do we have to teach them how to 'hide' their blackness when dealing with police and security? Do they have to be keenly aware of what they wear? What they say? Where they go?

All of these things...i can't even think straight...it just makes me incredibly sad and angry and scared...and i don't know what to do with it all...i don't know how to deal with it all.

I definitely had issues with my race while growing up. I never told anyone I was Black. As if not saying it made it so. I don't even know where I'm going with this...I can't think straight right now...i just have no other way to get this out...and its not making any sense, i know but