OK. Maybe not quite that long. But, long enough!
I haven't had internet service at home for ten day. TEN DAYS! That's like...an...era or something. Good grief I'm going crazy! It is truly debilitating (okay, a bit Debbie Dramatic, but I'm making a point here, people). I'm in my office typing this...
Started with my modem going belly-up on 9/24. The telephone tech came out, checked my outside phone line and pronounced everything "A-OK!" (Verbatim. Seriously.) He wasn't able to hear my DSL line or any static, so he ordered me a new modem ~ covered under warranty, thankyouverymuch.
Modem arrives on 9/29. Great! Hook it up. Great! DSL light is green. Great! Ethernet cable light off. Not great! I flip the cord, make sure everything is in its place, connect the power. DSL light is green. Great! Ethernet cable light off. Not great! Grrr. I try mixing the cables from the original modem with the new modem. Nothing. Fine. I leave it alone.
On 10/1, I call AT&T DSL customer service. I go through the whole rigamarole with the dude - checking the connections, switching the cables, rebooting. I even endure the "Are you sure your power cord is plugged in?" nonsense. Finally, the dude says "You have a defective modem." What?! Are you kidding me with that?! Defective you say?? Huh. The dude orders me a modem to be overnighted to my home. I kindly request a new modem, not a refurbished one. "We do not send out refurbished modems, ma'am." "Huh. Then maybe you shouldn't print the word 'refurbished' on the invoice in bold capital letters." Just saying.
Not home Thursday. Get home Friday - no modem. Surprise, surprise. I call the DSL customer service line again. Go through the whole rigamarole with Louie, who transfers me to Justin, who makes me go through the whole rigamarole with him twice. "Justin. I just want a new modem please. I've been through this. The cables, the lights, the this, the that. I just want a new modem. How is a girl supposed to set her Fantasy Football team without the internet?" This got Justin's attention, so we talked FF for a minute. Then. Ohhhh, then..."Ma'am, we can send you a new modem but you'll have to extend your internet service agreement for one year, okay?" I laughed. I did! I laughed. "Justin. You looked at the notes, read that a new modem was supposed to be sent two days ago. YOU told me the order wasn't placed. NOW you want me to tack on an additional year to my service plan - by the way, I have no service - so I can get a modem to give me service? You might want to rethink that situation."
So, I'll have a new modem "by Tuesday at the latest."
I also called Billing. Joshua was lovely. He credited back one month's service fee, bundled my phone service options so that I save $35/month and made sure my account was noted with the 'order new modem/send new modem' comments. I like Joshua, he's nice.
In the meantime, I can check email on my cell phone but can't reply. I can send tweets via text, but can only read direct Twitter messages. And, I can check football scores but can't check my fantasy league status.
Oh dear Internet...like Robin Thicke sings: I'm lost without you.