Saturday, March 12, 2011

today

I awoke feeling oddly motivated. The ideas on just how to channel this motivation came fast and furious.

First, I joined Weight Watchers. I'd done it before, with moderate success; but, money was tight and something had to go. My sister joined last week; The Gentleman joined a month ago. Feeling inspired by both and oddly motivated, I found myself sitting in a meeting at 8:30 on a Saturday morning. A lot of information to take in. A lot of changes to be made. This is going to take a lot of motivation, inspiration and support. The Gentleman said "You can do this." My reply "I can and will." So, here I go...

Another feeling that overwhelmed me this morning ~ I am fucking sick of this fucking clutter! A friend asked to stay with me tomorrow night as he's 'in transition.' "All I need is your floor for one night." How pathetic it is that I can't give a piece of my fucking floor for a friend. I'd happily share my bed with him but he'd have to come IN to my apartment. Yeah. That ain't happening. This fucking clutter. Completely of my doing. I've been good with tossing as I bring in. That just keeps things status quo, doesn't get rid of anything. I put the clothes piled on the shoe rack onto hangers then hung 'em on the clothing rack. I stared at them for a long time. A very long time. Then, I shoved most into a black trash bag. I was completely honest with myself - I will NEVER wear that again, I have NEVER worn that, this doesn't fit. There were a couple of items I rescued. I looked at them, again...then tossed 'em out. The feeling wasn't the same as when I've tossed before. This time I was fed up! It just has to go. HAS TO GO! And, so one bag did.

Tomorrow is a new day. There are two storage bins that will be empty before the morning is over.

I'm doing it. Alone. But I have GOT TO GET THIS CRAP UNDER CONTROL!

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