Saturday, January 02, 2010

All Is Quiet On New Year's Day (and the day after)

There is only one you for all time. Fearlessly be yourself. - Anthony Rapp

That's the goal: fearlessly be myself. The good, the bad, the ugly. I feel like I'm two different people - the outside Rissa who is social and gregarious and fun-loving and on-the-go; and then the inside Rissa who lives within four walls of hoarding, fear, self-loathing and clutter. I want the two to be on the same level.

I can vividly picture a party in my apartment - it's like an open house type of deal...people chatting in the kitchen, music loud, laughing. It's the people I see most clearly. I know exactly who will be here...that's the part I'm striving toward...that's my goal.

I don't know how the hell I am going to get there. But I *have* to get there. And fast.

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