The Bachelor ~ #10

I swore off The Bachelor a couple of years ago. Like most long-running reality TV shows, The Bachelor casts "characters" ~ The Virgin, The Bitchy Girl Who Fights With Everyone, The Psycho, etc. After nine seasons (let's name them, shall we? Alex, Aaron, Andrew, Bob, Jesse, Byron, Charlie, Travis and "Prince" Lorenzo), I needed a break. Last night, however, I tuned in. And boy am I glad I did! It was :::insert Chris Harrison voice::: the most fun Bachelor episode ever.

For those unfamiliar with the process, one guy (The Bachelor) gets to meet 25 girls, eliminating them week after week until he's left with The One. Of the 9 previous Bachelors, only a couple have actually proposed. Of those Bachelors, only ONE couple is still together (Byron and Mary). This bothered me. I'm invested in the show for three months only to have The Bachelor offer the ring as a "promise" or something. It's a huge letdown. (Side bar: Trista - the first Bachelorette - actually was proposed to by Ryan, married Ryan and is now expecting a baby with Ryan!). But, I digress.

Andy, The Bachelor (An Officer and a Gentleman) is a navy doctor. From the neck down, he's pretty rockin'. It's his 30th birthday and he gets his pick of 25 women. One by one they exit the limo to meet him. 95% are blonde. 95% of that 95% have horrible color (washed-out complexion, too bleached, too fake). A lot of sparkly dresses and sparkly girls. Most of the sparkly girls I honestly don't remember. But here are the highlights:

Girl Who Sings - she sang the National Anthem to him. Out loud. In front of other people. For a minute there, I thought it was American Idol (ooh whoa whoa).

Girl With Big Eyes & Biceps - she challenged The Bachelor (An Officer and a Gentleman) to push-ups. Push-ups. Seriously. In her grown-up prom dress, the Girl did push-ups. Ai yi yi.

Girl from Alabama - she was the source of all things entertaining last night! Let's see...she drank a lot. A lot. She fell off her barstool without spilling a drop of her drink! How's that for a neat party trick? She then got into a verbal brawl with Loudmouth Girl. And, to top it all off, Girl from Alabama raps. She rapped - complete with the oh-so-timely beat-boxing - something about Andy. I'm sad she didn't get a rose. I'll miss her entertainment value.

I've decided to stick with this one until the end. Why? Because it was announced at the beginning of the show that there WILL be a payoff. The Bachelor (An Officer and a Gentleman) will propose! :::gasp::: Shut up! I'm in.

So, time to invest in more VCR tapes. I am *not* gonna miss THIS.

"Ladies, please take a moment and say your good-byes."