Dear Frosted Eye Shadow Girl,
I'm gonna call you 'Frosty' - do you mind if I call you 'Frosty?' Great thanks.
Hi Frosty! It's me, Rissa. Oh, wait: you don't know me. Hmm...let's see...got it! Hi - it's me, the girl you pushed out of the way at two English Beat shows. Yeah...it's all coming back to you now, isn't it?
So, Frosty. You're incredibly rude. I first noticed - and fell victim to - it at the English Beat show at the Canyon Club in March. You literally pushed me and Joe out of the way so you could get up on stage. I applaud you because Joe and I aren't little people, y'know what I'm saying? And, I thank you for the elbow in the side of the boobs. Any means to an end I suppose.
Then, last night. Ahh, last night at the Malibu Inn. Pushing your way to the front again, you moved wine glasses and plastic cups to the edge of the stage for the sole purpose of clearing space to haul yourself up again. With the wine glasses teetering on the edge, I moved them back a bit so I wouldn't have broken glass on my legs and feet. You still had plenty of room to drag yourself on stage. But, nooooo. You had to move the glasses back. And push me in the process. No, I didn't push back; the satisfaction of the bassist shaking his head and mouthing 'No' to you coming up on stage was enough. But you couldn't stand it, could ya? Nah. You had to go up anyway. Might I suggest you get your friends together, form a band, and you can be on stage any time you need a little fix.
Well, gotta run. You take care, okay? Oh, hope I didn't hurt you with that little push-back when you came back for Stage Dance, Round II.
P.S. - a little make-up tip - ditch the frosted eye shadow; makes you incredibly old!