In the last episode, I confessed to compulsive hoarding, threat of eviction and my breakdown.
The next day and night, I went to DB and asked for help. It was the hardest thing ever! She's a close friend, trust that girl with my life...but to admit this hoarding to her? Fuck. Without blinking, DB dropped her stuff to help me. She didn't judge, she didn't condemn. She sat on the bed, kept me focused, all the while formulating a plan to get this place in order. With every other breath, I thanked or apologized to her. DB, in her warm loving way, said there was no need to thank her or to apologize. Then, I broke. It wasn't even gradual; just hit me. The end. I cried and shook from the embarrassment, the shame of the situation; the disgust, the disappoinment I felt in myself. All of this pushed to the surface and tumbled out.
I made significant progress this week with DB's help ~ shoes, handbags, five piles of papers became 2 stacks. I also called an organizational expert to come in today.
NaBloPoMo came 'round again. For June, the theme is Home. Holy crap if that ain't a big ol' sign! So, I'm confessing and documenting my de-cluttering, re-organizing and such this month. Damn, this is hard.